“I’m aware of how enticing you two find one another.” Philippa made a face—the same face Harriet made when tasting kippers. “Oh, don’t look at me like that! I know how much he’d like tomeetwith you.”
“What moonshine!” Philippa shouted, startling Harriet. “Here I thought you were the cleverest of my sisters.”
“He’s made it clear that he wanted to return to his old life.” Harriet kept her eyes trained away from Philippa at the embarrassing admission. “His lifebeforeme. His life of carousing and philandering.”
“He said that? I haven’t seen him so much as glance at another woman since he’s been with you.”
Harriet felt her entire body flush with heat.
“Hejustconfirmed to me that he’s been seeing his mistress, Philippa, and he would gladly take you to bed if you were amenable.”
“Harriet!” Philippa was sitting straight up now. “You can’t think—”
“Oh, I know you would never entertain such a thing. I didn’t mean to accuse you.”
“Harriet, what precisely do you think has happened between your husband and me?”
“He’s … well … hasn’t he … visited you? And settled some money on you? And of course, he danced with you at the Henderson ball. I must admit we have an agreement that he can … do those things. Which is why we haven’t consummated our vows. Only, we have done …somethings. I’m sure you can imagine. But I fear I had started to want more from him. More than he’s capable of offering. So, yes, I know about his attempts with you. I know he wants to be with other women; I only wish it weren’t my sister.”
Philippa let out a sharp, ironic crack of laughter.
“Your dear husband hasless thanzero interest in me.” Harriet opened her mouth to contradict this, but Philippa held up a finger. “Perhaps he did at one point, but I assure you he’s lost any desire he once had for me. If I had to hazard a guess, that change happened in Lady Dunley’s library. Since he’s married you, he has only spoken to me of two things. One: his father, who is going after my estate quiteaggressively. His Grace is convinced I’m being left some property up north. Alexander has been warning me away from the man—not that I could be induced to marry that gout-ridden old goat. That’s what he spoke to me about at the ball. And last week when he paid me a call.”
“What was the other thing?” Harriet asked, meekly, rather embarrassed by her assumptions.
“Other thing? Oh. You. You are the only other topic of conversation the man cares to entertain. In faith, I can’t believe the manallowedyou to decamp here. He seemed the sort who would have delighted in the intimacy of you running him over with a carriage.”
Harriet stood then and started pacing back and forth across the small room. She wasn’t quite sure what to think.
“You’re making me positively nauseous,” Philippa groaned after a few minutes.
“Nauseated,” Harriet corrected, reflexively. “Iam nauseous as I am causing you to feel nausea.”
“Stop saying that word in any form and sit down,” Philippa pleaded. Harriet sat, mostly because the pacing wasn’t fixing anything.
“I am glad to hear that you two aren’t … That he didn’t attempt anything with you. Although, you are only one woman. He still has a mistress. And any number of opera singers and actresses andotherwidows that he might visit. I could have lived with that—I planned to live with that, with sharing him—only, I’m afraid I’ve grown to care for him, which is quite inconvenient as he won’t ever love me.”
“Whyever not?” Philippa asked, and the immediate affront in her voice warmed Harriet more than almost anything ever had. As if it were so natural to love her, so easy and obvious. As if their father hadn’t spent a lifetime trying to convince them otherwise.
“Perhaps because I’m an unfashionably plump wallflower who’d rather be writing a dictionary than training to be a future duchess,” Harriet offered.
“I don’t think being duchess-like is high up on Lord Stirling’s list of requirements.”
“I feel certain I don’t possess any of the other qualities on the list either,” Harriet said, irritably.
“I find myself fascinated to discover what else is on this list.”
“There isn’t really a list! I’m only saying I’m not the sort of woman he wants.”
“I’m aware. I hardly think it’s a prerequisite of his love that you be able to put your leg behind your head.”
“Is … is that … beneficial somehow? To lovemaking? How would that even increase pleasure?”
“Never mind the leg thing! That is not what he is looking for in love.”
“He isn’t looking for love at all! He doesn’t want love! In fact, hepromisedme he wouldn’t love me. And I promised to be all right with that! So that’s what I’m doing, Philippa!”
“I think it’s because he doesn’t know how.”
