“You’re … you’re being …”
“Brilliant? Correct? Wise?”
“Exasperating.”
Giuliana nodded at his champagne glass. “Drink up and then tell me what you did,” she said with an irritated sigh, as if Alexander were the one not performing his usual role in this scene.
“Why do you presume it wasme?”
“I never take a man’s side if I can help it.”
“She sold her wedding ring, took the money, and moved to her father’s house. I suppose that’s all the use she had for me. Better that she left now, before we formed an attachment or something. It wasn’t a true marriage anyway, so it’s no bother really. A little irksome that my father was correct about her being a fortune hunter, though.”
At Giuliana’s harsh, narrowed gaze, Alexander shifted in his seat and amended his answer: “Fine. Fine!Imayhave gotten her removed from the dictionary project that she’d been working on, which she’d made me promise she could continue after we married. She also insinuated I’ve been visiting other women, which I have not.” Giuliana sent another shriveling look his way. “Not in the way she’s imagining! I haven’t been with anyone since she … since we … since her.”
“Hmmm” was all Giuliana said, pinching her lips together.
“Oh god, just say what you want to say, don’t make me beg for it.”
“Oh, but you begging is one of my most favorite sights.”
“Giuliana,” he growled, and something within him seared with pain. It was the tone he usually used with Harriet.Shewas the one whose name he wanted to say like that, whom he wanted driving him mad.
“All right, I’ll tell you what I think.”
“Your generosity does you credit.”
“I don’t think anyone with half a brain could meet Lady Alexander and assume she’s a fortune hunter; I don’t even thinkyoubelieve that. Though anyone willing to wed and bed you deserves some coin tossed their way. You’re a dolt for getting her removed from her project, not that I have any idea what that is, but one can assume you were doltish. Furthermore, regardless of your actions, the fact of the matter is that youaskedto be allowed to still meet with other women, did you not?” The question was apparently rhetorical, as she didn’t pause for him to answer. “Most importantly, I think you’d have to havelessthan half a brain not to realize you’re madly in love with the woman.”
“I am not!” Alexander roared, so used to denying the fact to himself that it didn’t even occur to him to answer otherwise. Of course, it also didn’t occur to him to examinewhyhe’d had to deny the fact to himself so often.
“Oh, certainly. It’s quite often a man whoisn’t in lovevisits his mistress for the first time after his wedding to ask her how to help his wife come. Even more often he stops seeing his mistress altogether, even though he’s arranged otherwise with his wife. This sort of thing is always happening.”
“Your sarcasm is not appreciated.”
“Your obtuseness isn’t either.”
“It doesn’t signify. Even if Ididlove her—which I don’t”—Alexander could hear the lack of conviction in his own voice—“she’s gone, and I have still ruined her dictionary. And even if she did forgive me and return, and we went back to how things were before, I’m sure to break her heart when I end up wanting someone else.”
“Doyou want someone else?Haveyou wanted anyone else?”
“No! That’s not the point!” Then, realizing whom he was with, he added, “I don’t mean to offend.”
“Alexander, I’ve been here tupping Richard and taking hours-long baths in a house you bought for me, wearing only jewels you gifted me. I shed nary a tear. But let me ask you this: What if you do someday want the company of another woman? Are you not strong enough to turn that down? If not for the sanctity of marriage, then for the sake of Harriet?”
Alexander felt suddenly, embarrassedly, like crying, and he couldn’t say why. He waited for the lump in his throat to disappear and then he decided, perhaps influenced by the champagne or the friendship, to say what he really wanted to say: “What if I make a mess of it?”
Giuliana laughed, which was both comforting and insulting in equal measure. “Oh, Alexander, of course you will! You already have!”
Alexander thought about that for a moment, scrubbed his hand down his face, and let out a simple “Fuck.”
“Perhaps you might try actually demonstrating to your wife that you’re in love with her?”
“Again, I am not.”
“Yes, you’ve thoroughly convinced me,” she deadpanned.
“Regardless,sheis not.”
