“Not your heart?”she whispered.
The question hit him like a blade between the ribs andRavikcouldn’t answer.Becausethe truth was, she already had part of it and so didSev.Maybethey had for longer than he wanted to admit.Maybethat was why this hurt so fucking much—because the bond wasn’t something they were trying to force on him.Itwas something already alive inside him, pushing at every locked door he had built to keep it out.
He took a step back.
“I can’t,” he said.“Ijust fuckingcan’t.”
Cassandra’s face crumpled into grief before she managed to control it andSevwent very still.
Dr.Verityxmade a soft, sorrowful chirping sound, but for once he did not offer any clinical explanation or scientific justification.
Good—Ravikcouldn’t take any more fucking science.
“I saidI’dhelp make the vaccine,” he growled, though his voice felt raw now.“Ididn’t sayI’dletSevBondwith me.”
“No one is forcing you,”Sevsaid quietly.
“No,”Raviksaid.“You’reall worse than forcing me.You’remaking me fuckingwantit.”
The words were out before he could stop them and the room went deathly silent.
Ravik felt their eyes on him, searching…questioning.
He shook his head, furious with himself now.Furiousand ashamed and suddenly desperate to get out of that room before he said anything else that would tell on him—tell the truth, that he wanted what was forbidden.
He had to leave beforeCassiereached for him andSevlooked at him like there might still be a chance.
“No,” he said again, though he wasn’t sure who he was saying it to anymore.“I’mdone.”
He turned and strode toward the door.
“Ravik!”Cassiecried and he heard her heart breaking in the sound of his name.
He stopped with his hand on the panel but didn’t turn around.
“Please,”she whispered.“Please,Ilove you—Severinloves you.Whycan’t we all love each other?”
That nearly broke him but he told himself he couldn’t turn back.
“I’ll do anything else,” he said, his back still to them.“Anythingbut that.”
Then he opened the door and walked out before either of them could stop him.Thecorridor outside was bright and green and full of soft bird-like voices and the distant hum of medical equipment.Itfelt unreal after the warmth of the suite, afterCassie’stears andSev’ssilence and the awful truth he had let slip.
You’re making me want it.
Ravik clenched his fists and kept walking.
He didn’t know where he was going—he only knew he had to get away before wanting became a choice he couldn’t take back…
A choice that would last forever.
63
RAVIK
Ravik didn’t know how far he walked, he only knew that he found himself at the docking area where the silver long-range shuttle had been left for them to return to theMotherShipafter the vaccine was made.
But there’s not going to be a vaccine now, is there?whispered an accusing little voice in his head.Becauseyou’re refusing to help make one.Lotsof people are probably going to die because of you.
