“Maybe because you were a lot like Joanie? You couldn’t sense what she was going through, but you projected your fears about what your life could have been. You just saw a tough girl, like the tough girl you used to be?”
Dawn blew out a breath. “Okay, I get it. I get it.”
“So that’s why I need you to stay focused and keep doing your meditation. If you’re in a good place, the impact you have on others is unique and positive.”
Dawn didn’t say anything to that. But it sure felt good.
A few minutes later, she pulled into the visitor parking lot at the prison.
“Well, this is my cue to leave.”
“You don’t want to come into the prison? You might get some fashion ideas…orange is the new black and all that.”
“I have too many former and future clients in there,” Lynda said with a sigh.
“Shoot. I never thought of that. You probably get a lot of business from places like this.”
“I wish even more of them asked for help and meant it with all their hearts.”
“Can you tell me if my mom—”
Lynda held up one hand to stop her. “That’s up to her, and don’t forget your own sworn secrecy. The best thing you can do is to continue the power of your example.”
“Understood.”
They got out of the car, and Lynda wrapped her arms around Dawn for a tight hug. “You’ve got this.”
Dawn hugged her back and walked to the entrance. As she approached the sliding doors, she turned to wave at Lynda, but her karma caseworker had already disappeared.
* * *
“You’re just in time for birthday cake,” Dawn’s mother said.
“Seriously? They give you birthday cakes?”
She smirked. “No, sweetie. I’m sorry. I’m just being a smart-ass. See Thomasina? She’s the young woman over there.”
Dawn glanced in the direction her mom was pointing. A petite African-American girl was chatting animatedly with her visitor.
“She looks like a teenager.”
“She just turned nineteen today.”
“Oh no. What’s she in for?” Dawn turned back to face her mom. They were seated at a corner table by the window. The sun was streaming in through the glass pane, giving her mother’s brown hair a soft halo effect. Dawn sometimes forgot just how young her mom truly was. Only sixteen when she had Dawn, Lissie was now thirty-eight. Dawn didn’t think prison would have such a positive impact on her mom, or was it that her mother was actually clean and coherent for the first time in, like, ever?
“She stabbed and killed her pimp. She’s kind of a hero around here, but she’s not a violent person. He raped and beat her one too many times. Everyone has a breaking point. And get this…she wants to become a pastor.”
“Wow, that’s amazing.”
“Yeah, it is pretty amazing. She’s been counselling me as part of her experiment…to see if she’s any good at it.”
“Is it going well?”
Lissie nodded. “That girl is only nineteen, but she’s an old soul. She’s getting me to admit things I knew were wrong and remember things I blocked out.”
“Like what?” Dawn really wanted to know. A part of her had held onto her anger toward her mother for a long time. But maybe it was time to let go of that anger, if her mom was ready to meet her halfway.
“I blamed my circumstances on you and Annette. I felt sorry for myself. I couldn’t stay at any job longer than a few days, because I didn’t want to…and not because I lacked an education. I always ended up back on the street, dealing. I’m ashamed of what I did, but most of all, I’m ashamed of how I treated you, my own daughter and my mother. I let you both down so many times. For that, I am so very sorry.”
