He hung his head. “I couldn’t shift back for quite a while this morning. I’d never have shocked you like that if I could have avoided it.”
“What was so stressful this morning? I mean, yes, I washaving a hard time with the pressure to marry you so quickly, but why would it matter if it’s before spring training or after?”
Jason pursed his lips. Eventually he answered in a voice that sounded so serious it scared her. “If we go forward and we’re bonded, I could die without you.”
She shook her head and tried to look into his eyes. “I don’t understand.”
He fell silent and pensive, as if trying to find the right words to explain.
“It sounds as if you mean that literally,” she continued.
“I do.” He took a deep breath before he continued explaining. “We began a mating process, you and I, and because falcons are one hundred percent monogamous, you’ll be my partner, for life.”
“Are you saying you were a virgin before you met me?”
He chuckled. “No, I’m not saying that. But I’ve always kept dating superficial so that bonding wouldn’t happen until I was ready.”
“Wait a minute, didn’t you tell me you were in love once before?”
“Almost. I thought I was, but I didn’t know what love was back then. And almost doesn’t cut it for falcons. You either are or you aren’t. Plus, she and I never had sex.”
“So why didn’t this mating process begin with someone else if you’ve had sex?
“I didn’t stay with anyone long enough. I had to protect my heart until I found the right girl. The minute I fell in love with you, and made love to you, we were bonding. As our relationship progressed and deepened, you may have felt it too.”
“I—I guess so. I really panicked when I thought I’d lost you—the you I thought I knew.”
He caressed her arm. “I understand. But I’m the same man, and you’ll never lose me.”
“Okay, tell me everything I need to know if I’m going to be your wife. Wait, not just what Ineedto know. Tell me everything.”
He took her hand and nodded, slowly. “Falcons mate between March and May. It’s not a choice. We don’t decide when it’s right for procreation. It’s an instinct.”
Confused, Merry tipped her head. “Are you saying that come spring, we’ll be boinking like bunnies?”
He laughed. “Only if you want to.” Then his expression grew serious again. “This is where being a shifter complicates things. We not only have physical instincts, we have human emotions too. Falcons who can’t mate when their bodies tell them to can create havoc with the extremely stressed human half.”
“God, the shifts must be really hard to control, then.”
“You betcha. Can you imagine that instinct hitting full force while I’m in Winterhaven, Florida, and you’re in Boston, Massachusetts?”
“I guess that’s a long flight, either by plane or wing, and if you shift during the trip… Oh no! What a tragedy that would be.”
“Youdounderstand. My only other alternative would be to give up my livelihood, which would kill me in a different way. My whole life has been about this sport, and I love it. To give it up would be like giving up a piece of my soul.”
Merry nodded, and then something occurred to her. “So, if we’re bonded, you can’t have sex with anyone else?”
“No, and I wouldn’t want to.”
“Works for me.” At last, she could relax completely.No worries when he’s on the road—no matter how many female fans show up at his hotel room.
“Once I have a full-blown, loving, sexual relationship, the mating instinct sort of turns itself on and can’t be shut off.”
“So, now that you’refully blownand your instincts areturned onin more ways than one… what does that mean? Is thisa done deal? Do I get any say in the matter?”
“Well, there is one more step, but it has to happen in the spring. If I come to you in falcon form, holding a symbolic gift, even just a pebble, it’s a sign. It signals the nesting instinct. Quite often falcons begin their mating this way.”
“What happens if I don’t want to get pregnant right away?”
