I go to my office, wake the monitor, and start searching.Everything says exactly what I expect it to—counseling required, insurance headaches, slow turnarounds.I grind my teeth and pick up my phone.
The concierge line answers on the second ring.
“Thank you for calling Rosen Genetic Labs,” a cheery voice says.“How can I make you smile today?”
For real?
This is what they tell her to say when they’re in the business of giving people bad news?
Of course, they give a lot of good news too, and I’m hoping Daniela will get some.
“You can get me a private appointment today.”
“Name, please?”
“Hawk Bellamy.”
“I’m afraid we don’t have?—”
“Hold up.I thought you wanted to make me smile.”
“Mr.Bellamy, I?—”
“I need a private appointment today,” I interrupt.“Genetic testing.Huntington’s.Blood and saliva.CLIA-certified lab, stat intake.I’ll pay, and then I’ll pay again.”
“Mr.Bellamy,” she says.“We can inquire with our partners.There are counseling requirements—pre-test, and sometimes post-test—depending on clinic protocol.”
“I know the protocols,” I say.“I’m not trying to bulldoze them.I’m asking you to book them.Today.”
Keys click.“We have a neurogenetics partner in Dallas.They can do a private appointment with a counselor on site.If we courier the samples immediately, the lab can begin prep this afternoon.”
“What about Austin?”
“Our Austin facility is booked today.”
“I’ve got money to spend, honey.Please check again.”
More tapping on keys.Then a sigh.“I can get you in.But you’ll have to be here by two p.m.”
“Perfect.Book it.”
“All right.Name of the patient, please?”
“Daniela Agudelo?”
“Your wife?”
“Uh…yes.”
“All right.I’ll notify the facility right away.”She rattles off the address.
“Thank you.How fast for preliminary?”
“Preliminary data may be available by evening,” she says, “with the understanding that only a full analysis is definitive.”
“Book it,” I say.“I’ll cover everything.I’ll also make a significant donation to the lab’s research arm, and I want that to be received without raising flags.Discretion matters.”
“Understood.I’ll text a private entry code and parking instructions.”
