And I don’t know what to do with that.
There’s joy, yes—blinding, breathless joy—but it’s tangled in betrayal, in confusion, in the kind of rage that only comes from grief you never buried.
I want answers.
But more than that, I want the time back. I want the years we lost. The laughter. The fights. The stupid, mundane, beautiful moments that his death stole from us.
I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for letting us think he was dead.
Or if I’ll ever stop being grateful that he isn’t.
And then…River.
River, who knew…
My fucking best friend.
Will I be able to forgive Jake? I don’t know.
But Riv?
“Is she all right?” Alex asks.
Misty is still lying in my arms. Her breathing is normal, and her color is returning.
“Is anyone going to answer my question?” Jake’s voice. “Is this her, Riv? My sister?”
Jake’s grownup, masculine voice. So much richer and deeper than I recall.
They’re waiting for me to answer.
I was always the de facto leader of our tribe, and we’re reverting to twenty years ago.
But how the fuck am I supposed to answer Jake when I’m still reeling?
So I won’t. I’ll pawn it off to the person who seems to know more than the rest of us.
“Riv,” I grit out, “you want to take that one?”
River kneels in front of Misty. “You okay?”
“Like you care.” She scoffs.
“Of course I care,” River says. “We all do. Right, Brett?”
Seriously? He wants me to back him up? But Misty is Jake’s sister, and Jake is alive, and…
And I don’t fucking know.
“We care, Misty,” I say. “You know that. You and I had a great talk about…your brother.”
Misty blinks. “Is it really him?”
“Yes,” I say, trying to keep the tremble from my voice. “It's really him. I’d know him anywhere.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Misty asks River, but she’s looking at me.
“I’m sorry, Misty,” River says. “We didn’t know you existed until a few days ago, and”—he pauses, exhaling—“I’m the only one who knew Jake was still alive.”
