“No. I mean why. You sabotaged your life. Why?”
“Oh, sugar.” Her voice softens. “You really want to do this?”
“Yeah. I guess I want to see if self-sabotage runs in the family.”
A long pause. I can almost hear the ice settling in her glass.
“You were never supposed to find me,” she says again. “I wasn’t good at the kind of love your father needed. Or the kind you deserved. You were better off without me.”
I was. That’s a given.
“So tell me,” she continues. “When was the last time you gave me a thought? I mean really?”
“I—”
“And don’t give me some made-up answer, sugar, like I’ve always wondered about you. I can sift through bullshit like the best of them. I’ve been doing it all my life.”
I sigh. “My life took a turn.”
“For the worse?” she asks.
“Yeah?”
“You breathing?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“You worried about making rent?”
“Of course not.”
“You got food to eat, water to drink?”
“What the?—”
“You got family who loves you? Money in the bank? And I know the answer to those two. In fact, I know the answer to all of it. And let me tell you, your life is golden, Henry. Fucking golden.”
She’s not telling me anything I don’t know.
In fact, just hours ago I made a promise to myself and to Tabitha to work through everything. Made plans to see Aunt Mel tomorrow.
Told Tabitha we did have a future, but we’d be separated.
But I didn’t tell her I love her.
I should have done that.
I wanted to.
“You got nothing to say to any of that?” she asks. “You going to tell me there’s something about your perfect life that I don’t get?”
I could.
I could tell her the whole damned story about Ralph Normandy, about the accident, about Tabitha.
But she’d laugh in my face. And not because she’s cruel. Only because she’s right.
“Do you need anything?” I finally ask. “Help with anything?”
