Tell him I’m a coward. Tell him I’m choosing the future over a few quickies, though the last one was hardly a quickie. Tell him he told me there was no future with him and I listened too well.
“Please tell him I’m thinking of him,” I say instead. “Tell him I’m grateful he’s okay. That I’m cheering for him to get home soon.”
“I will,” she says. “He’ll be happy to hear it.”
We end the call. I stare at my reflection in the black phone screen until the shape of my face blurs and all I can see is regret.
“Everything okay?” Eli asks, coming closer.
“It was Angie’s mom,” I say. “Her brother had an accident at his house yesterday. He’s having renovations done, and a beam fell on his head. It gave him an epidural hematoma. He’s in the hospital.”
“Jesus.” Eli’s eyes widen. “Henry?”
I nod.
“Is he…?”
“He’s going to be okay.” I keep my tone even. “Surgery went well. He’s awake.”
“Thank God.” He cocks his head. “Why would she call you, though?”
I don’t have an answer. Except I do. I don’t say anything, but something in Eli’s eyes seems to figure out the truth.
“Are you and he…?”
I look away. “No. Not really.”
“Tabitha…” A hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head. “It wasn’t anything. We just…” I sigh.
Eli doesn’t look the least bit upset. Angie was wrong. He doesn’t feel anything for me. There’s no vibe.
“You should go,” he says.
I flinch. “I can’t.”
“Tabitha—” He stops, lets out a heavy sigh. “Look, I get it. This seminar is a big deal. But this is clearly a person you care about.”
“You just want me out of the seminar. Less competition.”
He shakes his head. “How can you even think that?”
“Relax.” I force out a chuckle. “I was kidding. I guess I’m trying to… I don’t know. Make myself feel better about everything. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it at your expense.”
“Apology accepted.” He smiles. “Go. You can miss a few days of class.”
I shake my head. “He told me we have no future. He told me after Angie’s wedding. And I believed him.”
Eli’s expression softens. “People say things when they’re scared.”
I swallow, my throat raw. “If I leave, I’ll be the one who’s behind from day one in Dr. Landers’s class. The one nobody takes seriously. The one who had a chance and blew it. And for what? A man who told me in no uncertain terms that we have no future? No thank you.”
“He’s been through a lot. You know. With Ralph.”
I scoff. “I know that. I was there.”
He touches my elbow and guides me toward the door. “Come on,” he says. “Food. You’ll do better thinking on a blood sugar level above zero.”
