I place a Kelly clamp in his palm, box lock open, my thumb on the ratchet. “Adson with teeth.”
He hands me the Adson correctly, palm up, like a scrub tech. I take it by the shank. We move through the litany. Crile. Metz. Mayo. The rhythm gets inside my wrists. The room stops tilting.
“Good,” Blake says to the class. “Break in ten.”
I strip off my gloves and lean into the counter.
All that matters is this seminar, this future I’ve dreamed of for as long as I can remember.
Don’t think about Angie’s call.
Don’t think about Henry.
Don’t think about the attack.
The last one is what spears into my head, mostly because of the text that just buzzed through from Lance.
Feel like coffee sometime?
I inhale. Coffee. Maybe. Lance is handsome and sweet, and he was my knight in shining armor. Coffee is harmless.
But I can’t get interested. He’ll just remind me of the attack.
And he’ll remind me that he’s not the man I truly want.
I text back quickly.
Thank you, but I can’t.
The three dots move… And?—
No pressure. Coffee will always be there. Maybe sometime soon? Next week? Or I can leave you alone. Your call.
How am I supposed to answer that?
I sigh and write the words as they come to me.
I’m just crazy busy with the surgical seminar. I’ll be in touch.
At break time, I head for the hall. Two students laugh too loud near the water fountain. I drink, swallow, feel the cool slide down my throat.
Back in the lab, the second half moves better. My throws are cleaner, my tension more even.
Eli grins at me. “You got out of your head,” he says.
“For now,” I answer.
He shrugs nonchalantly. “For now’s a win.”
When the timer hits zero, we break down trays, count tips, log instruments.
Blake looks over the class, nodding. “Next week we hit the cadaver lab, guys. Be ready. You’ll be judged by what your hands can do, not what your mouth says they can do.”
Someone snorts. Someone else mutters, “Can’t wait.”
Outside, Boulder is hot, dry, and sunny. The Flatirons are gorgeous against the sky. I tell myself to walk home, clear my head, spend no money, be a responsible human. I scroll my inbox.
Then a voicemail icon pops up. My phone is still on silent.
