“A cabin?” I don’t hate the idea.
“Just the weekend. It’s quiet. No cell service half the time. Enjoy the mountains. Sleep. Take some hikes. Think.” She lets a beat pass. “I’ll text you the address and the door code.”
I stare at the counter. At the sticky note on the fridge that says Do not contact Henry. “Angie…”
“I’m not telling you to go to my brother,” she says. “Dillon is still several hours away from the Western Slope. I’m just telling you to go where the noise is quieter. You might just clear your head and come back to next week’s classes feeling renewed.”
I mull it over. I’d do anything to get rid of the noise. The attack. The seminar. Henry’s name ricocheting around my skull like a loose screw.
But…
“I can’t,” I say.
“Okay,” she says, like we’re discussing weather. “Then you can’t. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whisper, but I don’t know if she hears.
The call ends.
I stand for a while. I’m not sure how long. Until my phone buzzes again.
I don’t look for a few minutes.
Then I look.
From Angie.
An address in Dillon.
Then another text.
Door code is 90968. Spare key under the ceramic bear if the battery is sluggish. Please think it over, Tabs.
I drop the phone face down like it’s hot.
And I realize…
I want to go.
I want to get out of this apartment, out of Boulder, away from the Kelly clamps and sutures and surgical cases. Away from the classroom, the lab, the place where I was nearly beaten, raped…
Away from my thoughts.
Where better to do all that than a cabin in the mountains?
It’s just a weekend. I’ve been working so hard. I deserve a little respite.
Dillon is about an hour and a half drive from Boulder. Easy compared to the drive to the Slope. I can take my study materials. Take everything I need so I’m prepared for the cadaver lab on Monday.
I’m supposed to meet Eli tomorrow to study, but I can easily back out of that with some excuse. Need some time alone. Not feeling well. Anything like that.
I’m not sure when I make the actual decision to go.
Maybe it’s when I head to the bedroom and pull the suitcase out from my closet. God, the last time I used it was for the wedding. Or maybe it’s when I go into the bathroom, collect my toiletries, and shove them into a bag.
Maybe it’s when I grab my still-not-folded laundry out of the basket and lay it out on the bed.
Or maybe it’s when I look in the mirror, see the Steel Vineyards logo, and tell myself it’s time to relax, get away from everything, including my thoughts. I pull the T-shirt over my head and throw it into my wastebasket. Then I grab another shirt from my laundry and put it on.
