Alba must sense some truth to this because she only says, teasingly, Always good to expand your horizons.
As we pull back towards Alba and Rose’s place, my phone starts vibrating loudly in my pocket.
I glance at the screen, a surge of anxiety washing over me.
Who is it? Alba says, parking the car and turning around to have a look for herself.
I should take this, I say, hopping out of the car and walking towards my own cabin.
Come over to our place when you’re hungry for dinner! Alba calls after me, but I don’t fully register what she’s saying.
Hello? I ask tentatively, even though the caller ID has already told me it’s my sister.
Hey stranger, she says, her voice chipper. Leo isn’t one for chit chat. Leo, which is short for Leonora (though god help anyone who calls her that), has another nickname in our family: The Wolf. If she’s calling me, somebody needs something.
Leo continues, Nice of you to answer my call.
She’s been texting me—they all have. My mom, my brother, Ace. Even the twins, Reid and Robin, have been sending me more memes than usual.
They know they’ve royally pissed me off. The one person who hasn’t tried to get in touch with me is Nan, but I think that’s only because she knows better. Besides, she wasn’t involved in the idiotic attempt to revive a dating life I didn’t even want.
When I came back to Victoria after losing my job in Toronto—roughly twenty-one months ago, but who’s counting—I would say, upon reflection, I wasn’t handling it very well. I threw myself into caring for my Nan, who had fallen and broken her hip. She’s all healed up now, but instead of figuring out what to do next I’ve just sort of… floundered.
Well, you don’t ever call, I tell Leo, who is a big texter, my tone a little frosty. I’m usually the peacekeeper in the family. I don’t think any of them know what to do with me being angry for once—and not being at their beck and call to fix their problems.
Leo sighs. I’ve said I’m sorry, like, four times, Vi. We all thought maybe you needed a little help, that’s all. But trust me, we’ve got the memo now. Standing down.
We all thought. I feel sick at the thought of my entire family sitting around, discussing the fact that I’ve never brought a boyfriend home. Deeming me so utterly pathetic that I needed their help.
No one had bothered to ask me, of course, whether I wanted to date. But there was a reason I didn’t use dating apps in Victoria. Moving from school to school the way I did growing up, there are way too many people who would recognize me. For a capital city, it feels like a small town a lot of the time.
It’s not just about the dating profile. It’s hard to explain, I say, feeling a lump in my throat. The responsibility. The pressure to always be the one with a solution. If running away is the only thing that can give me a break, well, here we are.
We miss you around here, that’s all, Leo pauses and immediately I know where this is going. She needs something, or wants something—or somebody does. I feel a prickling at the back of my neck and a throbbing headache start at my temples. And you know, it’s a lot here without you around. With Nan. With Mom. You know how it is.
You all managed fine when I was in Toronto.
She ignores this completely. They can figure their own shit out, but they prefer when I’m the one to do it. Is it true what Nan said? That you didn’t buy a return ticket?
I fiddle with the string hanging off my shorts again. Yep.
Violet! She wails. I forget sometimes she’s only twenty-six, and a young twenty-six at that. But if I had to figure it out for myself, why can’t she?
Ace can help, the twins can help; you guys don’t need me.
But I don’t even know, that’s the problem! That’s why we need you.
I feel suddenly like an animal caught in a trap. Like all the walls are closing around me. I suck in a breath and get my words out in a rush, not giving my sister time to guilt me any further.
Leo, I have to go, we’re pretty busy here with wedding stuff, so, I’ll talk to you later okay? Love you, bye. I hang up, tossing my phone across the room and onto the bed. I shudder to think that this is the reaction after only a few days away from them.
I lie down on the smooth, hardwood floors and breathe for a while. My phone buzzes once from across the room and stops. I frown, knowing it’s not any of my siblings, who always send a flurry of stream-of-consciousness texts in a row.
I sigh, making myself get up and look. But it isn’t a message. Instead, it’s a follower request on Instagram from the username @finnscamp.
I laugh, not sure if the S is a middle initial or if his handle is Finn scamp, which would honestly be fitting.
I wonder how he found me. I don’t have my full name listed—not that he would know it anyway, unless he asked someone. He must have creeped Alba or Florence to find me. I try not to be flattered by his interest.
