We’ve got her a flat in Sydney, a nice spot. I reckon it’ll be good for her.
My head starts pounding. We got her an apartment—and I was left out of this conversation entirely. He decided. I try to keep my voice calm.
Okay, but all of her sisters, her friends, are back in Scotland. Why would she move here?
He looks at me a little sadly. I know you’ve done a lot for her, Finn, but that’s a heavy load for one person, and I got the sense you needed a break. And that she maybe could do with a change.
Or you thought I wasn’t doing it right, is that it?
What? Alistair looks genuinely baffled. I can feel myself getting more and more enraged.
Mum’s malleable, you ken that. She would never have come to this on her own. So that means you thought I wasn’t doing enough.
Finn, it’s not like that.
I can’t shake the feeling of abandonment. That I’ve done something wrong, or that I’m being punished for something I didn’t know I was or was not doing.
The only reason I stayed in Scotland all these years is for her. I couldn’t leave her there, because you already had. And now you’re telling me she, out of nowhere, wants to leave?
I stand up abruptly, feeling the need to move my body and get some of this energy out.
Well, if you didn’t have to stay in Scotland, where would you go?
What? That’s not—
I always thought you were happy there. You’ve got your mates, got Billie, a great job, a whole life.
It was never an option to leave, I say, feeling suddenly exhausted. I sit back down in the chair. She’s really moving here?
Alistair nods. Now that I have my Canadian citizenship, she’s eligible for a five-year visa to start. We’ll look at permanent residency later on, make sure she actually likes living here first before we go down that road. All the paperwork is ready to file after you’re back in Scotland. It should take about a month.
Was she ever going to tell me?
I told her I would speak with you first. And I know what she’ll say when you ask—that she wants to be close when the grandkids come. Alistair gives me a look of someone long-suffering. I mean, we want kids, but hell, I don’t even know if it’s in the cards for me and Flora. Mum’s about forty steps ahead, but if you put that aside, I think she could be happy here. Her and Florence get along, thank god. And when we talked about it, I got the sense she’d been thinking about it for a while.
Thinking about it, but saying fuck all to me about it? Grand. I wonder if this is part of her recent obsession with me being alone—because she was planning to leave, too.
Don’t be angry with her Finn, she’s—
I’m not angry with her.
Well fine, be angry with me, but think on it for a second. Florence and I are settled here. We’re not going anywhere. You’ve got your own life to live, however you want. This is your chance to do that without feeling like you’re tethered to one place forever.
As annoyed as I am with my brother, with my Mum, with this entire scheme being plotted behind my back, I can’t help the wee sliver of another feeling that starts pouring in—like a world of opportunities has suddenly opened up to me.
If I didn’t have to be in Scotland, if I could go anywhere, would I stay? Where would I go?
The thought knocks the air out of my lungs—I’d want to be wherever Violet is.
Chapter 34
VIOLET
I WAKE UP ON THE morning of the wedding to both Florence and Alba jumping on my bed.
I’m getting married today! Florence screams, her excitement palpable. I feel so delighted for my friend. I get up and start jumping with them, Alba and I chanting back to Florence, You’re getting married today!
I notice that they’re both in their bathing suits and grin. Morning dip? I ask, gesturing to their swimsuits. Florence is wearing what can only be described as a bridal bikini, white and definitely new for the occasion. I love that she wanted to go swimming with us on the morning of her wedding.
