I shrug, reaching for another piece of lumber just to have something to do with my hands. “Just stating facts.”
“So…you and Maria.” His voice is casual, but there’s nothing casual about the way he’s looking at me. “Something happening there?”
Of course there is.
Everything is.
“She’s been staying at my place,” I say, even though everyone already knows that. Even though that doesn’t come close to answering what he’s really asking.
“Yeah,” he says. “Her and the boys. It seems to be going well. From what I hear the boys love it there, and you and Josh are building an outdoor hockey rink.”
I nod, focusing on lining up the cut. The saw roars again, filling the silence I don’t want to answer.
“I always thought that was a big house for just one guy,” he adds.
I let out a dry laugh. “You’re not wrong.”
“Couple years in there and still no pictures on the walls.”
“Been busy.” A ridiculous response and we both know it.
Noah leans back against the fence, folding his arms. “For what it’s worth,” he says, quieter now. “You guys are good together. All of you. Looks like a family, Tuck. Like you’re turning that house into a home and there’s nothing more a guy could ask for.”
Home.
I let out a breath, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah…I agree.”
His brows lift, happy surprise lighting his eyes. “You do?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“About damn time,” he mutters, pushing off the fence to clap a hand on my shoulder. “Was starting to think you’d never see what’s been right in front of you this whole time.”
“I just…” The words catch. He waits quietly and then I continue, “I never thought I was the right guy for her. For the boys.” I’d never admitted that before, at least not out loud, to someone else.
“She’s not going to do better than you,” Noah says simply.
I shake my head, wiping sweat from my forehead, though the air’s gone cooler. “I don’t know if she sees me that way.”
He studies me for a long second. “We all see the way she looks at you.”
“Sex is one thing,” I say, my words quieter now. “Love’s another.”
And love? Well, love means showing up. Every time. No excuses. That’s the guy I want to be, the guy I tried to be with Suzanna and Ben, but it wasn’t good enough.
“You love her, Tuck?”
This time I don’t want to deflect, don’t want to dance around it.
“Yeah,” I say. “I do.” I drag a hand through my hair, exhaling hard. “I love the boys too. Hell, I even love the fucking cat.” A humorless laugh slips out, but it dies fast. “What if…what if she doesn’t want the same thing?”
Noah doesn’t interrupt. He just lets me continue.
“What if I’m just…temporary? Something easy. Something fun until she finds someone better. Someone steady. Someone who’s actually around all the time.”
My mind drags me back whether I want it to or not—Suzanna. Ben. The moment everything I thought was solid, slipped right through my hands. And then Maria…dressed up for that date with Declan. Nice, stable Declan. The kind of guy who shows up. The kind of guy who doesn’t miss things. The kind of guy I couldn’t be for Suzanna or Ben.
Noah shifts, stepping closer, his voice quieter now. “You think she doesn’t know exactly who you are?” I don’t answer. Because I don’t know. I can’t forget she thought my sister was a puck bunny. Would she think that if she really knew who I was, deep inside? “Or is it that you’ve never actually told her how you feel?” he adds.
