Josh: Tuck, I had the game-winning goal. I wish you could have been there. Next time. Did you get the fence fixed for Mabel?
* * *
My throat closes instantly. I read it again. And again. My fingers brush over the screen like I can feel the meaning in the words.
“He’s not mad,” I choke out, the realization cracking something open in my chest. Kate leans closer as I hold the phone out, her eyes scanning the message.
“Kids are resilient,” she says softly. “Next time.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, staring at those two words like they’re everything. Next time.
Not you let me down. Not don’t bother anymore.
Just…next time.
“You didn’t fail him,” Kate continues gently. “You didn’t ruin him. He was disappointed, sure. Of course he was. But look, he already moved through it. He’s okay. He’s more than okay.”
“Yeah,” I manage again, my voice thick.
She shakes her head, holding her hands out like she’s laying the truth right in front of me. “Parenting is messy. Sometimes you get it right, sometimes you don’t.”
I let out a breath that almost turns into a laugh and sling an arm around her, pulling her into my side. “What the hell do you know about parenting?”
She snorts, leaning into me. “Not a damn thing, Chucky. But I do know this. You’re the best brother a girl could ever ask for. There were times you were a parent to me.” Her voice softens. “So yeah…I think you’ve got this. More than you think you do.”
My gaze drifts back to the wall, to the photos lining it, and my chest lurches when I really see them. What she’s done. What Maria started.
“The pictures…” I say quietly, the realization settling deep. “She use to say a place without pictures was a house, not a home.”
“Tuck,” Kate whispers, like she already knows where this is going. “Do you think she was trying to show you something?”
“I told her to leave.” The words sit heavy. “I told her to go. I fucked up.”
“You were hurting,” Kate says gently. “You were confused. You reacted.”
“But she was confused too,” I say, my mind suddenly racing, pieces clicking into place so fast it almost makes me dizzy.
And then it hits me.
Hard.
Like a puck straight to the chest.
“Holy fuck.”
“What?” Kate sits up straighter.
I stare at her, my pulse pounding in my ears. “Her ex-husband. He had a secret kid. A whole other life… and Maria…”
Kate’s face crumples. “Oh God…”
“Holy fuck,” I repeat, dragging my hands through my hair. “She must have thought…she must have thought I had something like that too. That Ben?—”
“That you had a secret child. A whole other family,” Kate finishes quietly.
I press my palms into the sides of my head, like I can stop the spiral, stop the realization from tearing through me.
“What have I done?” My voice drops, wrecked, barely there.
