“Snuggles?” I repeat.
“We’ll snuggle him, Tuck,” Josh promises earnestly. “You won’t have to.”
Grant jerks his chin toward the door. “He’s up on his vaccinations, and I’ve got some food in the car to get you started. But you’ll probably want to stop at the store on the way home.”
Home.
With a cat.
Panic rises fast. I live alone. I’m on the road half the year. I have no business bringing a cat into my life.
“I don’t know… anything,” I admit, the words quieter now. Real. A warm hand settles on my forearm.
Maria.
I look down at her fingers against my skin. Small. Steady. Supportive.
“You can change your mind,” she says gently. Not accusing. Not pushing. Just…giving me an out. And for half a second, I consider it. I really do. Then Josh lets out a delighted squeal and I glance over just in time to see Marbles enthusiastically licking his cheek.
“His tongue is so scratchy,” Josh giggles, scrunching his nose but not pulling away.
The sound hits me square in the chest. That joy. That uncomplicated, wholehearted happiness. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard anything like that. I exhale slowly.
“I don’t think that’s an option,” I tell Maria.
She gives me a tight nod. Because she knows too. She doesn’t want to break their hearts any more than I do.
“I’ll help,” she says quickly, stepping closer. “And when you’re away, I’ll make sure he’s taken care of. I’ll bring the boys back and forth. I won’t let them take over your house.”
I huff out a breath that’s almost a laugh. “I mean…it’s okay if they stay with Marbles. You can stay too.”
What are you doing, dude?
I don’t know. I just don’t fucking know and I need to shut this down now.
“I have lots of room,” I say instead, like I’m no longer in control of my brain. “You can easily find a quiet place to…” I catch myself before I say study. That’s our little secret. “…read.”
She angles her head, the warmth and appreciation on her face hitting me square in the chest. “Tuck,” she begins quietly.
“I have a whole library that’s empty. Feel free to use it. Really, the house sits empty when I’m gone. I have a big executive kitchen that never gets used. I know you like cooking.”
Jesus, do not think about her in your kitchen.
She swallows, and it’s crazy how much I like the idea of her in my house when I’ve been trying so hard to avoid her.
“I mean, I could really use the quiet to…read.” A gust of air rushes in as Grant leaves to get the cat food.
“The boys will be busy with Marbles, and...” The second that name leaves my mouth, I lose it. “Why is it so hard to say Marbles with a straight face?”
“Because it’s ridiculous,” Maria says without missing a beat as she laughs with me.
“Okay,” I murmur, looking at her a second longer than I should. “Good to know I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
Her smile softens. Warms. And somewhere between Josh’s giggles, Elena’s sniffles, Grant hauling cat food in from the car, and Lucas googling “how often do kittens poop,” I realize something terrifying. This doesn’t feel like just taking in a cat. It feels like stepping into something bigger. Messier. Louder. Full of scratchy tongues and ridiculous names and boys who look at me like I hung the moon.
And Maria, standing close enough that I can feel her warmth.
I’ve definitely lost my marbles. But for the first time in a long time? I’m not entirely sure I want them back. “I guess we’d better hit up a pet store.”
