Without me.
“Tuck,” Josh says, quieter now, pulling me back.
“Yeah, bud?”
“I really like staying here.”
I look down at him, at the way he’s watching me, hopeful, a little unsure. Something tightens in my chest. “Okay,” I manage, because anything more feels too dangerous.
“I like being close to everyone in the neighborhood,” he goes on, words picking up speed now. “And this winter, when Tanner puts in a rink, I can just walk over whenever I want. He told me I could.” His eyes light up. “You should put in a rink.”
I huff out a quiet breath, shaking my head a little. “You want a rink, Josh?”
“I’d help you build it.” He grins, all confidence now, like the deal’s already done.
“It’s a lot of work to maintain. It’s a big responsibility and I’m away a lot, remember? Maeve’s father takes care of theirs when Tanner is away.”
Marbles chooses that moment to lick up the side of my neck, and Josh laughs. “I can do it. I’m responsible. I take care of Marbles, don’t I?”
I snort, adjusting the kitten as he purrs against me. “I never said you weren’t responsible when it comes to Marbles.” I arch a brow at him. “Putting your cereal bowl in the dishwasher, though? That’s still under review.”
Josh groans, but he’s smiling. And the whole time, I can feel it creeping in. The want. Not just for Tuesday nights. For it all.
Again.
He laughs. “See you Tuesday.”
“Josh,” I start, and he pauses, turning back toward me.
“Yeah?”
“Tell Lucas to be careful driving tonight.” I rub the back of my neck. “I heard he’s dropping you at your friend’s place and then heading to see Ari.”
Josh studies me for a second. “Yeah, okay. I’ll tell him. We’re not going far, though.”
“Still,” I say, a little firmer this time. “Be careful. There’s a storm brewing.”
That earns me a laugh. “Okay, Dad.”
Dad.
Holy fucking God.
I know he’s kidding. But the truth is I am acting like an overprotective parent, hovering and handing out safety lectures like it’s my job. But that one word— It hits me square in the chest like a runaway puck. Knocks the air right out of me. I don’t even have time to recover before he’s gone, the door swinging wider, cold air rushing in again.
Despite every instinct telling me to stay put, to keep my distance like I promised myself I would…I step up to the door. Because apparently, I have zero self-preservation when it comes to her. Maria’s in the car, and even from here, it’s like a punch to the gut. She’s dressed up. Not over the top. Not trying too hard. Just enough to make it obvious this isn’t a grocery run or a quick errand. There’s a soft glow to her skin, a light layer of makeup she doesn’t usually wear. Her lips have this pink sheen that catches the porch light, and her hair?—
Jesus.
Her hair is down in loose curls, falling over her shoulders, a reminder that she’s about to go out with another man. A reminder of what I don’t get to have.
She rolls down the window, smiling up at me, and I force my feet to keep moving until I’m on the stoop. “Thanks for letting the boys come by today, Tuck.”
“No problem,” I say, holding onto Marbles like he’s my lifeline. “I was just…vegging.”
Vegging.
Great. Smooth. What am I, twelve?
