"Li Sung's not goneberserk."
"We're all mad. Why elseare we in the middle of the ]ungle chasing a damn elephant?"
"You didn't have to comewith me."
"Didn't I?"
"I would have beenfine."
"I'm not doing it foryou," he said jerkily. "I need that line finished before Abdardecides to pay us a visit."
"It will befinished."
"And the first shipmentto the dock will probably be your corpse."
She had suddenly had enough."Why should you care?" she flared at him. "Then you'll be freeof me."
"Dammit, I'llneverbefree of you." He whirled and jerked her to her feet, his eyes glitteringwildly in his set face. "God help me, I don't want to be free of you. Iwant you alive. I want you... Jesus, I want you with me for the rest of mylife."
She stared at him, stunned.
"Stop looking at me likethat. Do you think I like it, that I haven't been fighting it? But it's here,dammit, and I can't do anything about it."
She laughed shakily."What a tender declaration. Don't worry, I'm sure it's only a temporaryaffliction and will soon go away."
"It's not gone away inthree years. I think I knew in Kasanpore there was no escape, and now we'vecome full circle." His hands kneaded her shoulders with an odd yearningmovement. "And sometimes there is…tenderness."
"Pity, you mean."She stepped back from him. "Caretaking."
"Caretaking? Those areyour words. You scared the hell out of me. I thought I was going to loseyou." His grip tightened. "I'm not going to lose you, Jane. Notever."
She felt the panic rising.Everything had seemed so clear. She had been so sure of her ability to fighthim and yet now she was experiencing a strange weakness and uncertainty. Shemust not let him sway her. "Lose me? You've never had me. You're nevergoing to have me. I'm not such a fool that I'd let you come close to me afterall that's gone between us."
"We're already close.We're so close we're almost a part of each other. You feel it and so do I.We're so close that we never really left each other even though you were oceansaway."
The intensity of his emotionwas reaching out to her, surrounding her, smothering her.
"No," she whispered.
"Yes." His fingerreached out and gently touched the plane of her cheek. "Oh yes, we have tohave each other. We have to be together."
"Ian."
He went still. "I canwork it out."
"Forgive? Forget?"She smiled sadly. "Not you, Ruel."
"I'll work it out,"he repeated. "I have no choice."
"But I do have achoice." She turned away from him and moved toward her bedroll. "AndI have no intention of letting myself be hurt by you again. Ever since we metyou've manipulated me, pulled me to and fro to suit yourself, but it's finishednow. When this is over I'm going to be free to live my life as I wish andyou'll not be a part of it." She forced herself to glance at him over hershoulder. "I can't believe you'd think I'd want anything else."
"Then I'll have to changeyour mind, won't I?" One corner of his lips lifted in a sardonic smile."Oh, I know it's not going to be easy after what I've done to you. I'll dowhat I can to smooth the way for both of us, but you'll have to work through ittoo."
Dear God, she had seen howdetermined and irresistible Ruel could be when he was focusing his attention ona goal. Now he wanted to focus that will on her for a lifetime instead of a fewdays of revenge. The mere idea terrified her. She wanted peace to live her ownlife as she saw fit. She settled down in her blankets and turned her back tohim, trying to shut out his words, trying to shut him out.
"We could share onebedroll, you know," he said softly. "We'd probably both sleep better.We're used to each other now."
The truth of his wordsfrightened her even more. They were used to each other's bodies, used to allthe textures and scents and flavors, used to the rhythms of passion. They kneweach other in the most erotic and seductive of intimacies. Yet there had beenother moments in the past few days when their togetherness had taken on agentler, even comfortable quality. He was no longer a dark secret to her, andthat knowledge in itself was alluring. He was a battle she had fought andlost... and won.
