Kartauk's sudden tension wasso well masked as to have been imperceptible if Ian had not been watching forit. "Certain about what?"
Ian hesitated, searching forwords. "I don't mind for myself, you know. Oh, at first there was a sting.I've loved her all my life and gotten used to thinking of her as mine. Iremember walking up that hill beyond the castle with her when she was only alass of ten and thinking, all of our life is going to be like this. All of ourlife we'll be together. Such happy times… " He trailed off and then smiledwith an effort. "But those times are over, aren't they? And I'd be a truedog in the manger to blame anyone but fate' and myself for their passing.Margaret didn't leave me; I've been the one leaving her these last years."
Kartauk was silent for amoment. "I suppose I should deny it."
"No lies," Ian said."Please, no lies. We have no time for them."
"No lies." Kartaukwas silent again before he said haltingly, "I did not want to love her,but I do not regret it."
"You should not,"Ian said gently. "Love is rare and beautiful. It enriches life."
"Margaret has never beenunfaithful to you." Kartauk shrugged. "I am not like you. I do notthink any pleasure is a sin. There was a time... but it never happened."
"I know, and it neverwill." Ian raised his gaze from the board. "It's only fair yourealize that truth. She may love you but she will never leave me until the dayI die." He grimaced. "And I can't even promise to do that with anygreat dispatch. I cannot bring myself to commit a mortal sin by taking my ownlife, or I would have been out of the way long ago."
"No one wants you out ofthe way," Kartauk said gruffly.
"No one but me." Iansmiled sadly. "I pray for it every night but I'm never taken." Hewent on brusquely. "But that is neither here nor there. The importantthing is to keep Margaret as content as possible."
"You wish me to leaveCinnidar?"
"Of course not. I wouldnot deprive Margaret of your company. You will continue to keep her amused andbusy, to protect her and love her as you are doing right now. However, I mustdeprive myself. She is so guilt-ridden, it's clearly a torment for her to seeus in the same room." He met Kartauk's gaze. "And she must never knowwe've had this talk. You agree?"
"I agree." Kartauknodded slowly. He blinked rapidly and looked down at the chess board."You're a fine man, Ian MacClaren, and stronger than I would be in thesame situation."
"Strong? I don't feelstrong." He leaned wearily back on his pillows. "I'm just trying todo what needs to be done to help us all survive. I can't let Margaret sufferany more than she—" His gaze flew to the door. "She's coming."He quickly moved his bishop and then looked up with a smile as Margaret walkedinto the room. "You've been very quick. I still haven't defeated him. Comehere and let me see the seal."
She handed him Ruel's goldseal and stood beside him as he examined it. "I told you it was muchbetter."
"It's quitesplendid." Ian put it beside his own seal on the bed. He lifted her hand andpressed his lips to her palm. "But I prefer the one you made for me. Ruelmay have his elephants. My stalk of heather reminds me of Glenclaren."
Chapter19
Dilam came to meet them whenthey were only two miles from the encampment at the crossing. Jane wasimmediately alarmed. "What's wrong?"
Dilam smiled. "Nothing.The work goes well."
"Then why are youhere?"
"Curiosity. I wondered… "Her gaze went to the baby elephant on the stretcher. "Ah, I see.Danor's?"
"Yes. The mother is dead.The baby will be, too, if we don't find a way to feed him."
"I think you will findsuch a way." She looked at Li Sung. "It was wise of you to send Danoron ahead."
"I sent that fiendnowhere," Li Sung said curtly.
"Ahead?" Jane asked,puzzled.
"You will see."Dilam turned her horse and led them toward the encampment. Fifteen minuteslater they emerged from the jungle at the crossing.
"What the—" Janereined in Bedelia, her eyes widening in shock.
Elephants! Hundreds ofelephants—bulls, cows, babies—milling around the glade.
"Good heavens," shemurmured weakly.
"They came at dawn,"Dilam said. "We were startled."
