"What?"
"You heard me. I'm certainlynot going to repeat this idiocy." He began to dress. "Christ, I can'tbelieve I said it to begin with."
"Neither can I. Nor thatyou'd think I'd believe you."
"You want proof that I'mnot in Abdar's pocket?" He pulled on his right boot. "Li Sung."
She went still. "Whatabout Li Sung?"
"He's not in Narinth. Hepaid a visit to your supply yard night before last and departed with a knapsackyou'd left earlier. I assume he was taking it to Kartauk. Ian followed him butlost him in the bazaar."
"Your brother is helpingAbdar too?"
"My brother is helpingme... with the greatest reluctance." He pulled on his other boot. "Ididn't have to tell you any of this, you know. I could have staked out thesupply yard myself and waited until Li Sung came back. There's a good chanceI'd have found Kartauk. I'm better at stalking prey than Ian."
"Yes, I imagine you are.You have the hunter's instinct."
He ignored the bitterness inher tone. "I'm not ashamed to admit to that instinct. It's helped me tosurvive any number of times. It can help me save your Kartauk."
"What if I don't wantyour help?"
He said curtly, "You'vegot it anyway. I want this debt paid and out of my way."
"How honorable."
"I'm not honorable, butI'm usually honest." His lips thinned. "But with you something wentwrong and I don't like it."
"You said thatbefore."
"It's true. It'sdangerous when a man starts lying to himself."
"It's me you liedto."
"No, I just didn't tellyou the entire truth. But I lied to myself. I was in a fever to have you and soI convinced myself.... I'm not stupid and I know people." He smiledcrookedly. "But I never explored any path that would lead me where Ididn't want to go. I was careful never to dig very deep into why you went toZabrie's. You threw out all kinds of signals you weren't what I wanted you tobe, but I didn't let myself believe them. Hell, even Ian told me I was seeingwhat I wanted to see."
"Are you finished?"
"Almost. Abdar has to bewatching my progress with you with interest. If you let me help you, we'll getKartauk out of Kasanpore, but if you send me on my way, Abdar will think I'vefailed and probably initiate a move himself." He smiled. "Can youafford the time to contend with Abdar with your railroad to finish?"
"Better than I can affordto trust a man who might betray me."
"I won't betray you.You'll realize that if you look clearly at me and judge me as I am. Can you dothat, Jane?"
Sweet Mary, the man wasimpossible. He had dominated her body until she had felt as possessed as aconcubine in the maharajah's harem and then turned around and told her he hadused her. How did he expect her to think coherently through this haze of hurtand anger?
"I don't know." Shesmiled bitterly. "But I agree you've made sure I know exactly what youare." She turned on her heel and strode out of the railway car.
"I received word therails will arrive tomorrow." Patrick smiled triumphantly at Jane over thedinner table. "Right on time. I told you everything would be fine."
"You'll have to supervisethe transfer from the dock to the supply yard. I can't spare the time away fromthe site. We laid less than a mile of track today."
Patrick noddedunderstandingly. "The monsoon. Poor darlin', my heart fair ached for youwhen you came in this evening."
Her heart had ached too, afterthose blunt revelations from Ruel in the railroad car that afternoon. No, itwasn't her heart, she assured herself quickly, it was her pride that had beenstung. "Maybe it will go faster tomorrow."
"Not likely."Patrick poured another whiskey. "I've been thinking about what you saidabout my place being at the site. You're right, Jane. I've been a selfishbastard, but I'm going to mend my ways."
"It doesn't matter,"she said dully. "The job is almost finished now."
