"It was safer to be alone or not to expect anything."
"Selene, you have to leave." He stood rigid, not touching her. "Now."
"And then you came. You became . . . my friend. I didn't want it, but I couldn't seem to--It frightened me more than anything else. Because I didn't know how I could stand it if you went away too. And the years passed and I--"
"Come on." He grabbed her wrist and dragged her toward the door.
"No, I don't want--"
He was ignoring her. He pulled her along the deck, past a bewildered Patrick, and down the gangplank.
"Kadar, stop. You've got to listen to--"
"I've heard enough. Too much."
He was pulling her up the hill leading to the castle. She stumbled on a thick thatch of heather. "Let go of me."
"When I can turn you over to Ware."
"I won't be turned over to anyone." It was all for nothing, she realized in despair. She had let down the barriers, sacrificed her pride and independence, and it meant nothing to him. She doubted if he'd even heard her words. She struggled to free herself. "Let go of my arm. You needn't worry. I'll go back to the castle. I don't want to stay with you now."
He stopped on the path and turned to face her. "I have to--Oh, for God's sake, don't weep."
"I'm not weeping. I would never cry for a selfish, stupid clod of a man who cannot--"
"Selene . . ." He pulled her into his arms and rocked her back and forth. "Please . . . I cannot bear this. You tear me apart."
Oh, God, she loved to be close to him like this. No, not like this. She put her palms on his chest and tried to shove him away. "Don't you dare pity me."
"Pity?" He smiled. "I wouldn't dare. It's myself I pity." His hand gently stroked the hair at her temple. "I've been doing my best to--It's the wrong time, Selene."
"Right time. Wrong time. You have no right to decide what's the wrong time for me."
"No one else has a better right. You belong to me. You always have."
"I belong to no one but myself."
"Then will you let me belong to you?" He smiled. "I'll be very fine property, meek, obliging, always ready to--"
"Stop it." She could barely see him through the tears. "Just let me go."
"I'm afraid it's too late. I don't think I can." He pushed the cloak from her shoulders. "I want it too much. Lord, I want it."
"Want what?" Then she realized what he meant, and she went still. "You wish to couple with me?"
He bent forward and his tongue touched her lips. "Tell me no. It will be hard, but I can stop if you tell me no."
Her lips tingled beneath his tongue, and she could feel the heat of his body reach out to her. Panic tore through her. Tell him no. She had always revealed too much of herself to him. The yielding of her body was another surrender.
Trust him. He's different. He won't leave you.
But what if he did?
She stepped back away from him.
He went still. "No?" His breath expelled. "Very well, if you--"
"Hush." All the years, all the bright ribbons of togetherness could not be denied. She closed her eyes, reached down, and pulled her gown over her head. "At the House of Nicholas the women came naked to the men they had to pleasure. Is that what you want?"
