She shut the door and leaned back against it.
Soon he would be here.
Her heart was beating hard. She was oddly breathless.
She couldn't just wait. She had to do something.
The room was twilight dim. She crossed the room and lit a candle.
"I like you in that gown."
She whirled to see Kadar standing in the doorway.
She moistened her lips. "It's not really a gown. Layla draped--" She forgot what she was saying as she met his gaze. "The priest left?"
"After Tarik compensated him very generously." He shut the door and came toward her. "He wasn't pleased with you. He commiserated with me on my ill luck in acquiring such a shrew of a bride. He wanted to know if your dowry was enough to compensate me for the misery to come."
"And what did you tell him?"
"I told him that I'd committed a great many sins and you were my penance." He stopped before her, and she could feel the heat of his body. "He said I should have confessed to him and he would never have given me such an atonement."
She could barely make sense of his words. Her knees felt weak and she could only stare at him. What had he been saying? Something about the priest. "He doesn't like women."
"Not a bad thing in a man who took vows of abstinence."
"He should respect--" She inhaled sharply as his thumb touched the hollow of her throat.
"I feel your heartbeat," he said thickly. "But I can feel it more when I'm inside you. It's as if your whole body comes alive and closes around me. Tight and smooth as--" He closed his eyes and his lips tightened with strain. "God, I didn't mean to touch you. I don't know if I can stop."
Of course he'd meant to touch her, and stopping was out of the question. She stepped closer. "You don't need to--I promised that if you--"
"No." His eyes opened and he drew a deep breath. "No, Selene. No ifs. No bargains. No promises." His hand fell away from her and he stepped back. "No excuses why we should come together. When we make love, it has to be because that's what you need, what you want, and because you realize that it can't be any other way."
She stared at him in bewilderment. "What do you mean? You're the one who offered the bargain."
"Because it was the only way I saw that I could protect you."
"You said you wanted a child."
"I do, but I wouldn't bargain for it."
"You lied to me?"
"You're raising walls again. Don't do it, dammit. Don't hide from me. I don't know why you've always thought you had to protect yourself against me. I understood that when you were a child, but you're a woman now. Trust me. Belong to me. Let me belong to you. Yes, I lied. I'd do it again if I thought it would help you. I'd do anything to keep you safe and with me." His lips twisted. "I've grown accustomed to taking things and molding them to suit myself. I'll probably not be able to stop. But this is one time when I have to try to step back and let you choose." He gazed directly into her eyes. "I'll give you Nasim no matter what you do. Take me. Reject me. It doesn't matter. I never intended to do anything else. I'd have gone after him even if you begged me not to. Do you think I'd allow him to walk the earth after what he did to you and Haroun?" He turned and moved toward the door. "So think well. You have no bargain, no excuse. This is the last time I'll come to you. If you come to me, it will be because you accept what I am and what you are and that we have to be together."
He was leaving, she realized through the haze of bewilderment surrounding her. "Where are you going?"
"Somewhere far away from you and this villa."
The door slammed behind him.
God, what an idiot.
Kadar strode quickly down the hall, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.
Fool.
She had been willing. There would have been no coercion.
