"Of course it is." She turned away. "I'll be ready to go after I give Kadar his supper tonight." She looked back at him and added fiercely, "But if you're lying, if you cause anything to happen to him, I'll come back and cut your heart out."
"Nothing will happen to him," he said gently. "I promise, Selene. I want to keep him well and alive as much as you do."
She believed him. He meant what he said. But that didn't mean he would succeed in protecting Kadar. "When will you take him away from here?"
"Tomorrow night. Once you're safely away."
"And you have a place to hide him from Nasim until he's well?"
"I know such a place," he said. "I know it's hard for you to let him go, but it's for the--"
"It's not hard. It's just not sensible for me to work so hard to keep him alive and then have you place him in danger again." She moved down the hall. "I'm going back to him now. Make your preparations."
"I will." His words followed her: "One more thing. No words of love. It must not be a sweet good-bye. He must not follow you."
"I do not love--" She couldn't finish. She did love Kadar. She had always loved him and, God help her, she probably always would. Too much had happened for her to deny it any longer. She had protected herself against the fear that he would someday leave her, and look where it had led her. "It makes no difference if I love him or not. I'm doing this because it's best for him. It changes nothing."
"It can change everything. But it must not, in this case. You're better apart."
Apart. Separate. She felt a surge of loneliness. "I agree, but not because you say it." She could feel his gaze on her back as she walked quickly down the corridor.
Kadar turned away from the window when she came into the chamber. He gazed at her searchingly. "Are you well?"
"Why shouldn't I be well? Do you think a few sharp words can hurt me?" She turned back the coverlet on the bed. "It's time for your nap. You've been up too long already today."
"Tarik shouldn't have said that. It was my decision. The fault was mine."
"Of course it was. I wasn't thinking clearly. I realized it immediately once I thought about it." She gestured to the bed. "Now come over here and lie down. Tarik may think you well, but I don't believe it."
He hesitated, then crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I truly don't need rest. It seems I've done nothing else of late."
She pushed him down and pulled up the cover. "Be silent and close your eyes."
"I won't go to sleep."
"Close your eyes."
"Then I won't be able to see you. You wouldn't deprive me of my only pleasure?"
He was smiling coaxingly and she could not resist him. She didn't know when she'd see that smile again. Perhaps never. She sat down on the stool beside the bed. "Do what you like. I've told you what's good for you."
" Youare good for me." He winked. "And, if you'd slip into this bed beside me, I'd show you how you could cure all my ills."
She was tempted. Not for the passion that she knew would come but to be near him one more time. What was she thinking? It would only make the agony of parting more intense. Just sitting here by him, she was painfully aware of every nuance of his voice, his every expression.
"No?" He sighed. "I thought Tarik's words might have inspired enough guilt to make you waver. It seems a long time since the tower."
"You told me I had no guilt."
"But when have you ever listened to me?"
"When you speak wisdom instead of foolishness."
"Ah, you admit I'm not completely foolish."
"Not completely." She heard the first hint of unevenness in her voice and knew she must cut the conversation short. "Only when you chatter when you should be sleeping. I will no longer indulge your idiocy."
"There's something wrong." He was studying her face. "God, you look tired. Rest. Don't come to me tomorrow."
