Where was Kadar now?
Aching loneliness washed over her. It was unreasonable to feel this pain. Was she going to be this idiotic all the days of her life?
Oh, Lord, she was afraid she was.
Selene was deeply asleep, sprawled over the bed like a weary child.
Layla shook her head ruefully as she gazed down at her. She couldn't possibly get in the bed without waking her, and she wasn't willing to do that. Selene needed sleep this night.
Oh, well, Layla had slept in chairs many times before. She dropped into the chair in front of the fire. She grimaced as she reached for her goblet. This chair had no cushions and was more uncomfortable than most.
Stop whining. She would probably not have slept much anyway.
Her gaze wandered from the fire back to Selene. So much pain. So much passion. She could see why Tarik had been torn. He must have become very involved with Kadar and Selene during these last weeks.
Don't worry, Tarik. I won't fail you.
Poor Tarik. Was it weariness or discouragement that was pushing him toward her? It didn't matter.
She didn't care about anything. As long as he came back to her.
Her eyes closed tightly as waves of memory washed over her.
He was leaving.
"But I love you." Layla's hands tightened frantically on his arms.
"I know you do." Tarik's lips were thin with pain. "It doesn't matter."
"How can you say that? It does matter. Stay."
"You're too strong. You'd always convince me you were right and I was wrong."
"I am right."
Tarik shook his head and pulled away from her. "I can't do it any longer."
It was killing her. Couldn't he see that she couldn't live without him? "Then don't do it. Just stay with me."
"And watch you do it? It's the same thing."
"It wasn't your fault."
He opened the door. She wasn't going to be able to stop him, she realized in despair.
"Then go. Live with your damnable guilt. Eat with it, sleep with it."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not hurting me." She raised her chin. "I'll forget you. Why do I need a fool like you?"
He closed the door behind him.
Tarik!
______
She should not have let the memory return. The agony was too intense. It was as if she were living it over again. How many times during the past years had she smothered the thought of that scene and closed that part of her?
