“I promise you.”
I dreamed hard that night, and when I woke the following morning, I felt rough and hollowed out. I fed Hugo and looked at my phone while he ate. More messages from Stuart. I felt bad, but I was going to get what I needed here and then I could go home. I checked my phone constantly for the next hour and a half, waiting for something from Jasper. And then finally, just as I was beginning to give up, my phone vibrated and there was a set of map coordinates. I put them into my app and saw that it was an area of woodland just behind Waterfowl Park.
My stomach lurched and roiled with anxiety, fear, excitement. I knew I was putting myself in danger, but I also knew this was my last chance to find out the truth about my mother. I went to the private subreddit where I’d been posting about my search for Jasper Black and said:
I’ve found him. I’ll post afterward.
An hour later I clipped a lead to Hugo’s collar, and we set off. The day was warm, and the sky was blue. The combination of nerves and heat from thesun was making me sweat, so I stopped and took off my hoodie and tied it around my waist. I followed the footpath from the back of the local park and out toward the surrounding countryside. I got multiple notifications as I walked, mostly from Reddit people telling me not to go, telling me I was mad. I sent replies as I walked.
I’m fine.
Please don’t worry.
I’m safe.
The map took me off the footpath a few minutes later and into the cool shade of some woodland. And there was Jasper, sitting on a fallen tree. My heart rate soared at the sight of him; he looked both helpless and terrifying.
He got to his feet as he saw me approach. “You brought a dog.”
“Yes. This is Hugo.”
He looked flummoxed by the very concept of a dog. “Does he bite?”
“No, of course he doesn’t bite. Are you scared of dogs?”
“No.” He stared at me for a few long seconds before abruptly turning his gaze back to the middle distance. “You look like her,” he said.
My breath caught. “Claire?”
“Yes.”
“Then Claire…?” I pause. “She was my mother?”
Jasper nodded.
My voice left my body in a desperate wave. “So, where is she? What happened to her?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“Just that. I…”
He sat down again on the fallen tree, and I sat down next to him.
“Our family. Our home. All of it was wrong. All of it. And one day I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just left.”
“You ran away to join the circus.”
“Yes.”
“And when you left, Claire Connolly… was she… in the house?”
He gave a small dip of his chin and said, “I think so.”
“And was she…” I could barely breathe. “Was she safe?”
“What do you mean?”
