Lilah takes a stumbling step backward.
Charlie never looks at her, just keeps talking. "He sent me away." The gun shakes harder. "You got the family." She looks at Lilah. "You got the mother." Then at me. "You got to come home."
A broken smile crosses her face. "And I got a file folder and a lifetime of being told I wasn't wanted."
She lifts the gun. "So, give me the list. I had to flirt with my own fucking father. Do you realize how desperate I am?"
Behind her, headlights swing into the parking lot.
Black SUVs.
Car doors slam.
My father's voice cuts through the night.
"I was wondering when everyone would finally stop lying to each other. Ah, Charlie, I paid good money to make you stay hidden, guess it can’t buy you everything."
I expect anger.
I expect Charlie to pull the trigger, I know I would, I know I want to. Instead, it’s like he just disarmed her with words she’s known her whole life, words of not being wanted, not even wanting to exist.
She just stares at him. And for the first time since I met her, Charlie looks small. It’s one of the most tragic things I’ve ever experienced in real time, seeing someone die inside from rejection and knowing there is nothing I can do to give it back.
That sort of hurt stays with you until it grows and festers, it crawls into every insecure relationship, into every job, friendship, love, and family until it destroys because it has nowhere else to go but the heart.
“The list.” Dad holds out his hand. “Now.”
25
“When a man plays God, he forgets one thing. God’s fall too.”—The Dean’s List
LILAH
No. No. No.
I stare at Charlie and wait for someone to laugh.
Axel.
Jude
Someone, anyone. It’s like a bad movie, except nobody is laughing, and Charlie looks absolutely crestfallen. Edward’s older, more distinguished with his gray hair, but his black suit is pristine just like the very real looking gun he has at his right side.
There are no cops.
Only us.
And only one of us is armed and just minutes ago she was pointing the gunatall of us.
This is hell. A sick game. A joke. Because how are we going to get out of this? My best friend has been lying to me for years. Hasshe been using me too? Do I even want to know? I need to get out of this situation first.
The girl I’ve been sharing a dorm with is Jude’s half-sister. I wonder if all those times she was just begging for us to get close so she could get close to him. Was any of her advice even real?
Charlie's hand shakes around the gun. "You always were a jackass, at least according to her."
I finally find my voice. “Charlie, it’s going to be okay.” I reach for her.
“Don’t.” The single word cracks through the parking lot like a whip. I finally find my voice.
