I nod, smiling sadly. “It was the same for me,” I admit. “Flowies became my whole world. I poured everything I had into it, just to keep myself from falling apart. You should have seen the color-coded calendars I devised. I’m, like, super organized now. At least, I am when it comes to social media post planning.”
Jamie chuckles. “You’ll have to show me later.”
“And you’ll have to take me on a world tour of all the places that are now proudly carrying Kauffman wines.”
Jamie nuzzles his face into my neck, eliciting a tickled shriek from me.
I put my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back a few inches so I can look into his eyes. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“How the things we clung to for distraction during our heartbreak ended up shaping us, changing us, and brought us back…here.” I meet his gaze, a warmth spreading through me. “Maybe we needed that time apart, that time to grow and heal, so that we could find our way back to each other, stronger and more ready than before.”
Jamie nods. “I think you might be right.”
“So what happens now?” It comes out in a whisper.
“I don’t know.” Jamie swallows. “What do you want to happen?”
And maybe for the first time ever, in all my relationships, I know exactly what I want, and I’m willing to ask for it. Even though it’s terrifying.
“I want to try again,” I say. “I still love you, and I want to be with you. We’re different now, Jamie. We’re the same in all the good ways, but we’ve grown. Both of us. I think maybe this time would be better.”
“God, I was hoping you were going to say that.” Jamie leans in and captures my lips in a kiss. We lose ourselves in it for a moment before Jamie pulls back just a fraction, our foreheads still nearly touching. I give myself the luxury of drinking him in. The day’s growth of stubble along his jaw, the gold and green flecked among the warm brown in his eyes, the full curve of his lower lip. “I believe in us, Sybil,” he says.
I blink rapidly, trying to stay the swell of emotion I feel building inside me.
“I do too,” I agree. And I mean it.
“And there’s one more thing I want to be sure you understand. The two of us—we’ll be family regardless of whether kids come into the picture. I meant it when I said I love all of you.”
“I know that now,” I say, tears falling down my cheeks in earnest now. “I knew it then, too, but I was such a mess, reliving my past… I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was just scared.”
“And it didn’t help that I was so focused on my own paranoia. I was the biggest jerk in the world,” he admits, his voice laced with regret. “Sybil, I am so sorry. I should have listenedto you, given you a chance to explain. Instead, I let my own fears get the better of me.” He reaches for my hand, his thumb gently stroking my knuckles.
“We were idiots,” I say softly, another watery smile gracing my lips.
He chuckles, a low rumble in his chest. “Yeah, I guess we were. Ah, so young and lost back then,” he says, and I laugh too.
We stay like that for a long moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, the silence filled with a comfortable understanding. The past, with all its hurt and confusion, finally feels settled, replaced by a sense of peace and possibility.
Reluctantly, I glance at the clock on the nightstand. It’s past noon. Jamie’s flight leaves in less than two hours.
“You should probably get going,” I say, even though it’s the last thing I want. “You have to change, get your suitcase…”
He sighs. “Yeah, you’re right.”
We untangle ourselves from the sheets, the cool morning air a stark contrast to the warmth we shared under the covers. As Jamie throws on his clothes from last night, I can’t help but admire the way his muscles flex with each movement, the way his hair falls carelessly across his forehead. He’s even more handsome now than he was a year ago, more mature, more confident. And the realization that he’s mine, that we have a second chance, fills me with a joy that borders on disbelief.
“Good luck with the eclipse event,” Jamie says, standing in my doorway. “I wish I could be here for it, but I’ll be sure to watch the Instagram live.”
I give a little laugh and come to give him a hug in the doorway. “Jamie, it’ll be, like, two in the morning LA time.”
“I don’t care; I’ll stay up.” The look on his face is so open and affectionate that I lean up to kiss him again. The kiss grows, Jamie’s hand coming up to grip the back of my neck, and I can feel myself starting to be pressed back into the doorframe before Jamie wrenches himself away with a groan. “Ugh. I really do have to go.”
This is really it. Jamie’s heading back to the real world, and I’m not far behind.
What will happen when we leave paradise and get back home?
