She gives a half smile, half grimace. “After… I really didn’t watch your season while it was airing,” she insists. “I tried the first episode, but it was humiliating, seeing Aaron flirt with another woman… I told my friends not to tell me anything either.” She gives a little shrug. “Anyway, when I watched it, you just seemed to always wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s why everyone loves you.”
There’s no bitterness or jealousy in her voice, just earnest curiosity that reminds me so much of Nate.
“Nikki,” she says, pinning me with her gaze. “I should have said this the day I arrived, but I’m saying it now—I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the part I played in what happened to you.”
I swallow and nod.
“I really… I really didn’t know. I hope you believe me.”
“Didn’t know what?”
She shakes her head, tears still in her eyes. “That he was going on the show. He lied to me too.” I hear the raw hurt in her voice. It sounds so much like… so much like my own.
“I believe you,” I say. Nate’s already told me as much, and I can see now in Cara’s face that she’s telling the truth.
“My friends were the ones who told me he was a contestant—they’re all fans of the show and just happened to be watching and saw him. I was furious, obviously, but I couldn’t reach him because you guys were still taping. So I told my friends I didn’t want to hear anything more about it. It was too weird, to think about him flirting with another girl, kissing another girl…” She closes her eyes and gives a little shudder. “I figured things were basically over between us and had planned to just dump him when he got back. I wasn’t planning to go public with anything.”
“So then what happened? And why did you wait until the worst possible time to bring it to light?” I ask. “I mean, I understand you wanting people to know—wantingmeto know before it was too late. But you could’ve just reached out to me privately. It didn’t have to be like that.”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t call the tabloids if that’s what you think.”
I open my mouth to say something, then shut it, rememberingNate’s words at the karaoke bar. He’d said Cara wasn’t the one to call the tabloids. “Then who did?”
She sighs and glances out the window, but I can see the barely hidden wince of shame on her face. “They found out.”
I pause, waiting for her to say more.
“Some fans of the show had come across my jewelry brand. They noticed that the upcoming line of necklaces had an anchor design… the exact same anchor design as Aaron’s tattoo. They started theorizing and putting it all together—realizing we lived in the same city, and from there, they unearthed photos of us together—and well, you know how intenseLovedByfans can be.”
I give a rueful grin. “They could give the CIA a run for their money.”
Cara nods. “Yeah, so basically, the tabloids got wind of the theory and reached out to me. It didn’t feel right to lie, so I told them my side of the story.”
I’m quiet for a minute, taking it all in. This new version of reality, twisting and morphing to fit the new version of Cara I’ve come to know.
“But you know, in the time since, I’ve been working on finding it in my heart to forgive Aaron. For what he did to me,” she says. “He was selfish, and a liar, and I shouldn’t have let him play me. But I’ve learned to live with it. Unfortunately, I’m reminded of it every day I see that stupid anchor tattoo in the mirror. We got it on our first vacation together—a sailboat trip along the Carolina coast. At the time, I thought it was recklessly romantic—but now I see that he’s just been a weight dragging me down.”
I feel for her. I’ve tried so hard to forgive Aaron, too, at least in my head. The only thing that’s really helped me accept what he did is that I know we really weren’t right for each other. And if I’m honestwith myself, things had started to unravel evenbeforeCara’s story went public.
Once we were off the show, my relationship with Aaron felt harder. We didn’t connect like we did before. Some of which is only natural—real life is a lot less glamorous when you don’t have rose petals showering you every time you kiss. But it was more than that. During those secret visits we’d get while waiting for the finale to air, I’d notice little things—how he dismissed my excitement about something important to me, how he got defensive over minor misunderstandings, how he seemed more focused on how things looked than how they felt. The producers told me it was normal to feel a letdown after filming, that it was totally normal to have doubts, but that they could tell Aaron and I were the real deal—I believed that too. And when it all came crashing down, it was easier to blame Cara than to accept that I’d chosen wrong in the first place.
“You don’t have to forgive him,” I say with a soft smile. “If you don’t want. He lied to both of us.”
Cara nods. “Still, I’m sure it wasn’t easy coming home and finding me here.”
“Well…” I drag out the word.
“I know, I know.” She cringes and hides her face in her hands, only looking up again when she hears me laughing.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I tell her, surprised to find I mean it.
Cara looks doubly shocked. “You are?”
“I mean, do I wish things were less… complicated? Sure.” I shrug. “But on the whole, it’s actually been a really nice time.” I think back on the past nine days—all the peaceful lake swims, the rowdy family board game nights, cuddling on the couch with my niece and nephew to watch movies, our long and delicious home-cookeddinners on the screened-in porch. It’s the life I grew up with. The life, I’m starting to realize, that I might still want.
I’ve just been caught up chasing something so different. I’d started to think this was all just a beautiful time-lapse I’d never find my way back to.
“I’ve had a nice time too,” Cara says. “A great time, actually. Even when you were making me eat shit on that tube,” she says with a smirk.
