I pause for a moment, hesitating before pushing it open. The cool night air rushes to greet me, carrying with it the hum of the city.
Walking to the edge of the roof, I place my mic pack on an overturned plastic crate and lean over the elevated stone barrier and peer down at the street below. We’re not right on the piazza, but on one of the side streets close enough that the chatter filters over on the breeze with the clink of silverware on ceramic, the music of a nearby cafe, the glow of the fairy lights strung up outside restaurants.
I miss my dad.
I hope he got to see Siena before they sent him home. I hope he loved it, that he noticed the weird little animal sculptures carved into the buildings’ walls. I hope he felt strong and healthy as he walked the uneven cobblestone. I hope people didn’t stare at the illness-tinged color of his skin too much and make him uncomfortable.
He’s been to Italy once before, told me never to come becausehe hated it. He was on a business trip in Rome.The city of bad drivers, he’d told me.People just park in the middle of the street.Someone tried to steal his phone right out of his hand as he was using it. I hope Siena redeemed the country’s reputation for him.
Lost in my thoughts, I barely register the sound of footsteps approaching. Before I can turn around, a familiar voice breaks the silence.
“I thought to myself,” Yumi muses softly, teasingly. “If I were Noelle, where would I go to hide from me?” I don’t respond immediately, allowing her presence to sink in and soften the tension in the air as I stare out across the rooftops. I hear the sound of her mic pack joining mine on the crate.
“I’m sorry,” she says from a few feet behind me. “You were right. Maybe I would’ve chosen him if I had been around for the last year. But…” Her hesitation is long, and in that time I don’t think anything she says will make me feel differently. Then she finishes, “I tried, Noe. But it was so high up.”
I turn, breaking my silence. “You said it didn’t bother you.”
Her shrug is just barely illuminated by the lights from the surrounding buildings. The waves of her dark hair are more dramatic in silhouette. Everything about her is more dramatic and more beautiful in this light. Her skin glows, her eyes sparkle, the sad smile on her face is the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen. This is deity shit.
“I lied,” she says simply.
Everything in me hurts as the weight of my words from earlier settle fully onto me. “I didn’t—I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean…I was just…overwhelmed.”
The space between us feels both physical and emotional, a chasm that I don’t know how to build a bridge across. I wonder if she’s keeping her distance because of me or because of the height of the roof. I take a step closer to her, away from the edge.
She echoes my movement. “I know.”
And there’s so much I want. I want to apologize and I want to yell at her for lying. I want to talk about how we’re going to smooth over the huge mess I made for us tonight, but before I can say anything, she steps forward, closing the gap between us, and opens her arms.
I step into her and she tucks her head against my chest. Resting my head on top of hers, I say, “I just miss him.”
“I know that, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for him.” She pulls back, meeting my gaze with a vulnerability I’m sure is mirrored in my own face. “I’m here now.”
I don’t think, because the circle of my feelings expands beyond words.
I reach forward, resting a hand on her cheek, and run my thumb along her bottom lip.
Yumi leans into my touch, eyes fluttering closed.
Her breath hitches as I close the remaining distance between us and press my lips against hers. The kiss is gentle at first, even more tentative than anything we’ve done in front of the cameras. I’ve had enough of this—the chaste nonsense that’s going to air onThe Adventureverse’s streaming service—I want more.
I sink my fingers into her hair, tugging lightly, tilting her head to the side and kissing down her neck.
With a moan, Yumi’s arms wrap around my shoulders,pulling my lips back to hers. The world fades away, leaving only the rush of blood in my ears and the feeling of her licking into my mouth.
This, it occurs to me, is a moment I’ve been fantasizing about for years. I’m living it. And it’ssomuch better than I imagined.
Her hands, warm and soft, come to rest on my hips, meeting my skin where the hem of my shirt has ridden up. She pulls me into her, and I melt. Everything after that is a blur of gasps and murmurs and the faint taste of tiramisu.
When we finally break apart, I rest my forehead against hers. Yumi looks up at me with a mixture of surprise and longing in her eyes. I brush a stray strand of hair away from her face, my heart pounding in my chest.
“I’m here now, Noe,” she repeats, a promise and a plea all wrapped into one. “I swear.”
I nod, a sense of peace settling over me for the first time since I stepped out of my dad’s house with myAdventureversepack on. “I know. Thank you.”
Her hand cups my face, eyes burning. “I mean it, Noelle. This is real for me.”
And I want so badly to believe her.
