“I mean it.”
“I know,” I repeat.
She stares a moment longer, like she wants to be absolutely sure that I understand how much she despises me now. And I do. So, she clicks on the number at the bottom of the message.
Chapter 6
Word Vomit
It’s summer, so we’re onPacific Daylight Time (don’t ask, Arizona time zones are weird). Because it’s nine at night, both here and in California, I’m fully intending to leave aSorry for the late response, please call us back in the morningvoicemail. What I don’t expect is for a woman to actually pick up.
“This is Aliona,” she declares in the voice of someone who balances checkbooks in their free time and straightens stacks of paper for fun.
I look at Yumi. She looks at me. I don’t think either of us anticipated a conversation.
“Hi, Aliona,” I manage to say, though my body is crackling with nerves. “This is Noelle Breland?”
“And Yumi Panganiban,” Yumi chimes in, suddenly upbeat and familiar. It cuts straight to my heart, knowing her flat affect was a switch she flipped on just for me. I put that knowledge aside and try to focus on why we’re here. My dad, my dad, my dad.
“Girls!” The word melts like butter, spreading and expanding in a slightly ominous way. “I was beginning to think you weren’t interested! You’re lucky I haven’t contacted any other teams yet. Give me one moment to pull up your application.”
Though I’ve only spoken six words to this woman, the breakneck efficiency in her tone makes me feel like I’ve already signed a contract and boarded a plane. The timer on Yumi’s phone screen says it’s been fifteen seconds since the call began, but I drink in the deep breath of an endurance athlete. Yumi’s brow furrows at the sound. In the other timeline, she reaches across the bench and takes my hand. In this one, she looks away.
“Ah, here we go,” Aliona says, her keyboard clicking in the background. “First things first, you’re both eighteen, correct?”
“Yes,” Yumi answers, smiling pleasantly down at the phone. That’s good. She’s always had a smile you could hear, and I want Aliona to hear it.
“Great. And I see you describe yourselves as superfans, which we love to see. Superfans historically do very well, but I bet I don’t have to tell you that, huh?”
Thank God. Talking aboutThe Adventureverseimmediately puts me at ease. “Yeah, kind of. But only…” I trail off, my eyes flicking around as I count. “Three superfan teams have actually won.”
Even Aliona’s laughter is efficient. “Yes, I love it. Bring this energy to the show and you’ll definitely be fan favorites. But let me back up real quick and start at the beginning. Jonathan St. Pierre, our host—” Because it’s so laughable to think we might require an explanation of who JSP is, I instinctively smirk at Yumi. I’m expecting her to be smirking right back, but she just stares resolutely at the black screen. “—proposed to his partner last month. We’re going to re-create the proposal at the starting line on Monday.”
My head reels at the fact thatThe Adventureverseis startingthis Mondayand I could be on it. It’s like pulling back the curtain on my favorite play and seeing all the actors taking their places.
“The itinerary is incredible, and we have an amazing cast. And, of course, the two million dollars. I don’t want to give too much away, but I truly think this is going to be our best season yet.”
I don’t believe her.The Adventureversesays that every season.Our best season yet!might as well be their tagline, given how often they trot the phrase out for promo. Real fans know that nothing will ever topThe Adventureverse: All Stars.
“We loved the chemistry in your audition, and everyone in production agreed that you’d be a perfect addition to round out the cast. While we did initially go with a different queer female couple—”
Wait. What?What?
My head swivels, cheeks heating and mouth falling open as I look between an equally shocked Yumi and her phone. Aliona is still talking, but I have to focus to hear her over the sound of blood rushing in my ears.
“—broke up yesterday, and obviously we can’t have that on an all-couples season.” She laughs. “But we remembered you from our initial shortlist, and the producers unanimously decided to reach out to you first. It’s not often we have an attractive, diverse…What do you identify as, if you don’t mind me asking? Lesbian? WLW? Queer? Gay? Bi? Sapphic?”
Yumi and I simply stare at each other. She mouths,What the fuck, Noelle?And I mouth back,I don’t know!It’s the first momentresembling camaraderie that she and I have had in a year, and I can’t even enjoy it because I’m trying not to self-destruct.
“Girls? Did I lose you?”
“No, we’re here,” Yumi says, widening her eyes at me and throwing her hands up. She doesn’t mouth,Say something, because she doesn’t have to.
I panic. A classic. “We, uh—we don’t—we’re not…?” I trail off with a noise similar to the ones my car used to make when I was first learning to drive stick.
Yumi rolls her eyes, but it’s more knowing than pissed. I take that as a good omen.
“It’s okay,” Aliona says. “Give it some thought and let me know. The marketing team already planned promo with ‘sapphic’ in mind, so we’ll use that until you decide. It’s not often we have an attractive, diversesapphiccouple apply, and even less often do they understand the show or how to play to the camera. Now, I know what you’re thinking: If we liked you so much, why didn’t we cast you in the first place?”
