Bee throws her head back in a laugh, flipping Yumi off from the love seat she and Logan are sitting on. Her dress, a glittery forest green number, shimmers with every move she makes.
“Homeless shelter manager Bee and social media embroidery sensation Logan have their eyes on the prize, and they don’t care what stands in their way.”
That was my first real shock when we got home from the show. I had just assumed Bee and Logan were models because of their striking good looks and general attitude, but no. Bee manages a homeless shelter and volunteers at a safe injection site. Logan embroiders intricate scenes from video games. His work is museum worthy and sells for thousands of dollars to art collectors worldwide.
One of the most talked-about confessionals of the season pops up. In it, Bee is casually nibbling at a cheese stick on the dock in Buenos Aires. “Everyone would do anything to win…except be mean. Except be hated. They’re too afraid to lose followers on socials.” She fakes a pout, crossing her legs and lookingthe audience directly in the eye. “Not me. I don’t know you. I don’t care about what you think about me, and I never will.”
Instantly iconic.
“Bee and Logan narrowly avoided getting sent home, coming in last place in Iceland’s non-elimination Adventure. Will they be able to use their second chance to prove that nice guys really do finish last?”
The next team they show is Clyde and Cora, which is perfect, because it gives me a chance to get up and grab another bottle of water.
As I sink back into my seat, Jonathan says, “After four bottom-half finishes in a row, our team of young superfans secured a first-place win at a crucial moment, making them the first team guaranteed a spot in tonight’s finale.” A montage of fan-favorite moments flash across the screen. Us talking to Shea on the bridge in Paris. Me stepping in to tango with her in Argentina. Kissing on the lift in the volcano. Her first step onto solid ground in Switzerland. Me shutting off our mic packs on the beach—the forumslovedthat one. “Can theseAdventureversefanatics overcome their fears to take home two million dollars?”
“What do you think? Do they do it?” Yumi asks quietly, offering me a guava candy from her purse.
I laugh, tearing open the wrapper and popping it in my mouth. “I don’t want to ruin it for you.”
“I wish we had gotten to do this,” Yumi grumbles, watching on-screen Bee and Logan struggle with theWhich mime was yours?section of the memory challenge. They’re all but guaranteed to winat this point, with KC and Gabriel hopelessly lost in Yellowstone National Park and Clyde and Corawalking off set.
Yeah, you heard that right. The Ball-and-Chain—in the final three, inches away from two million dollars—got annoyed at the first team challenge, GEYSER, andleft. They didn’t bother switching challenges and trying the other option, HARDLY KNOW HER. They just…quit.
I wouldn’t have shown my face at the reunion after that, either.
The teams aren’t allowed to disclose their placements before the finale airs, but the group chat has been talking about this moment for months. The studio audience just about lost their minds when Clyde and Cora left.
Wait until they see that Bee and Logan win.
I’m only mostly kidding about the fanbase’s reaction to them. People do love villains, especially ones with hearts of gold outside of the game. If the other option weren’t KC and Gabriel, the High Elves’ win would be fine, but Team Football is just too good at being beloved. I think the Nobel Prize Committee might create an award for likability just for them.
I’m happy to report that we made a rewatchable season. Interesting teams. Fun villains. Big drama. Creative challenges.
Not just Good TV, but Great TV.
Chapter 49
Again
The dismay I feel ismirrored in Yumi’s tight expression.
“Should we have prepared something? Why didn’t anyone tell us to prepare something?”
Twenty-four seasons ofAdventureversereunion shows, and never before have I seen the teams come out with choreographed bits. On the monitor in the wings of the stage, Yumi and I watch as JSP announces each couple in order of elimination, and theyallhave a little routine. What is this?
Yumi turns to a crew member in all black and asks, “Can you get me paper and a marker real quick?”
He runs off, returning just as Matt and Morgan complete a series of lifts and spins, much to the audience’s delight.
While Yumi scribbles something on the page, I try to peer over her shoulder. “What are you writing?”
“It’ll be funnier if you don’t know,” she says, capping the marker and hiding the paper behind her back. She sticks her tongue out at me. It’s painful how hot she is. “Do you trust me?”
I laugh, absolute faith in both Yumi’s reality TV showmanship and protectiveness of me. “Unfortunately, I do.”
Her eyes flash deviously. “Great answer.”
The same stagehand who got us the stationery now waves his hand to get our attention. He counts down from five with his fingers and then points at the curtain separating us from the audience. Despite two months of being in the public eye, my stomach still drops in the moment before we step out.
