Mom and Ro are getting worried about you. I am, too.
We’re watching Say Anything tonight (Mom’s choice). Willing to be your footrest.
I almost smiled at that.
Almost.
When we were younger and had movie night at the Cohens’, we would all run and try to claim the long couch for ourselves. Whoever got there second got to sit on the loveseat with Mel, and whoever got there last had to sit on the end of the slightly lopsided long couch and serve as a footrest.
Ro and I were almost always competing for the long couch. Luke, who had the toughest time abandoning whatever book or video game he was currently immersed in, pretty much always settled for last. And since I was quick and as sly as a fox, I almost always outwitted Ro and beat him to the long couch.
So Luke’s permanent position during movie nights became being my footrest.
Still, I didn’t respond to his text.
I couldn’t.
I was still too mortified to face him or any of the Cohens. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have been able to keep the truth from Mel or Ro, but Mel was preoccupied with her treatment, and maybe Ro’s distance was turning out to be a good thing after all. I hadkissedLuke, for crap’s sake. And he’d peeled me off him.
I didn’t even blame him for doing it. Say what you will about Ro’s being drunk the night of the celebration dinner, I was the one who had lost my inhibition and was going around kissing people with no advance warning. Luke had clearly been humoring me—when he’d called me beautiful ... and maybe all my life—and I’d misunderstood and taken it as an excuse to jump his bones. I’d thought I was following Mel’s life advice, being brave, but all I’d done was thoroughly embarrass myself and ruin everything.
Thankfully, it was only a few days until Luke went off to State. Then, maybe, I could start showing my face at his house again. Maybe.
The night before he was scheduled to drive to college, I got this text from him.
Jessi, Mom and Naomi cooked this huge dinner in celebration of the fact that I’m heading to school tomorrow. It was amazing. Wish you’d been there.
The next day, late at night:Arrived at State. Mom bawled pretty much the whole morning and Ro got that quiet way he gets when he’s sad. I hope I’m doing the right thing, but I know you will take good care of them. You always do. If it wasn’t already clear, I’m sorry and I acknowledge that I am a complete and utter idiot. I hope things can go back to being OK with us soon.
I’d cried at his words.
I was sad that my stupidity had caused me to miss such a milestone in the Cohen house—Luke was going to college! I felt horrible that I hadn’t been there for him, or for Mel and Ro, and it started to sink in with horrible clarity that Luke was gone. He’d probably never live in Winchester again. He would make new friends and go to hundreds of parties and karaoke nights and never think twice about me. He’d kiss heaps of girls, all of whom he’d actually like.
The whole thing was devastating.
Still, I rallied myself enough to compose a response.
Glad you made it safely. I’ll look after Mel and Ro. Good luck at State.
I never heard back.
Not that there was anything else for him to say.
The next day, I went over to see Mel and Ro, claiming a crisis with my mother, which was pretty much true. She was basically always in crisis, but all we did was live with it.
Just like that, things went back to a new normal.
Mel’s treatment continued.
Ro and I started school again.
Life went on.
And then one day, three weeks into September, my doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” I called out from the kitchen, where I was elbow-deep in dish-washing soap. It was unnecessary for me to say it, really, because my mom was in bed and my dad had fallen asleep over a table full of papers. He also didn’t like to get the door unless we were expecting company. He was convinced that everybody was peddling a product “too useless to be carried in a real store” or were Jehovah’s Witnesses.
It was after ten on a Saturday night, and I opened the door, expecting it to be the neighbors, who lost their dog weekly, but it was Luke.
