“You’re supposed to be like my kid sister,” he said.
He couldn’t be serious.
“Since when? That’s bullshit.”
“Is Mel like your mother?” he challenged.
“That’s irrelevant,” I said stubbornly.
“Is Ro like your brother?”
“He’s my best friend.”
“Okay,” Luke said. “So what am I?”
“I don’t know, Luke,” I said, annoyance starting to fill my every word. “You’re Luke. Unattainable, too good to be true, not on my level.”
“I’m notgood,okay?” he said, surprising me with his fervor. “I’m fucked-up just like everyone else, but I’m trying. I’m trying to be better than my dad—than both my parents ...”
“What did Mel do?” I asked.
“That’s not the point.”
I sighed. “I really don’t know what you’re saying, Luke. I’m not sure you do either. It’s not supposed to be so freaking hard. You don’t have to be Good. I said I like you. If you like me, say it back. I kissed you. If you liked it, kiss me back.”
I’d barely gotten the words out before Luke’s lips were on mine. He kissed me frantically, as if we were running out of time, his hands threading through my hair.
When he pulled back, his voice was rough and unfamiliar. “Now do you know how fucking much I liked it?”
I opened my mouth to speak, then changed my mind and kissed him instead. I felt feverish as his hand curled around my waist, pushing us closer, and I looped my arms around his neck. We kissed for so long I lost track of time.
“Jessi, who’s out there?” Dad’s voice sounded like it was coming from close by.
Luke and I stepped back from each other as my father appeared in the doorway.
“It’s just Luke, Dad,” I said, my voice sounding gravelly.
“Hi, Mr. Rumfield,” Luke said, standing up straighter.
“Luke, how’s your mother?”
“She’s good, thanks,” he said. I pressed my lips together, hoping they didn’t look quite as swollen and as pink as Luke’s did.
“Good. And how’s the biochem?” Dad asked. “Are you thinking pharmacy? If you’re considering optometry at all, I’d be happy to talk—”
“It’s late, Dad,” I interrupted, trying to save Luke, but my father shot me a look that saidif it’s so late, why is he still here?
“I better get going. Nice seeing you, Mr. Rumfield. Jessi.”
He held my gaze for a second before turning and heading back toward his car.
I followed Dad in and shut the door, trying not to float away.
THEN
I barely slept that night. My mind kept replaying the kiss(es). Luke’s soft lips on mine, his arm around my waist, his hand in my hair. I tossed and turned all night and fell asleep just as the sun was starting to sneak out across the sky.
The first thing I did when I woke was to lunge for my phone.
