“Well, Luke’s gone back to school.” He said it in a strange way, like he knew it would mean something to me to know this.
“I know,” I said, bracing myself for what was coming next. “I was going to come over today. I need to tell you something.”
“What’s it about?” From the way he was staring at me, I knew he knew what I was about to say. My cheeks warmed, and I couldn’t look up at him.
“Luke and I ...” I began. “We ...” Again, the words didn’t come. God, why was I being so weird about this? It wasn’t a big deal. Luke and I weren’t doing anything wrong.
“Me and Luke,” I said finally, and looked up to meet his gaze.
Ro kept his eyes on me for a long moment, and then all he said was “Oh.” Zero inflection in his voice.
“That’s it?” I said, incredulous. “Oh?”
“What do you want me to say?” Ro said. “Ask you what your intentions with him are?”
It sounded like it should have been a joke, but he wasn’t smiling. He stared down at the table.
“How long?”
“Last weekend,” I said.
“You like him?” Ro asked, finally looking up at me. It was such a weird question, such anobviousquestion. Clearly, if we were together, I liked Luke.
Still, I gave him the simplest answer I could. “A lot,” I said.
“Oh,” Rowan said again, and then he changed the subject, telling me about the repairs he was getting done on his Ford soon. It was as if he’d gotten what he’d come for, as if the reason he’d come this morning was to hear it with his own ears.
I felt oddly sad, like simply by telling the truth, I’d ripped the gap between us even wider. But I also meant what I said. I liked Luke a lot, and though it might be weird for a while, having his older brother date his best friend, Ro was just going to have to get used to it.
NOW
Everything changes after everyone knows.
Suddenly we’re in the cafeteria, and Willow jumps out of her seat when she sees Luke, signals for him to come, and then takes the next seat over, leaving us next to each other.
I shift in my seat, uncomfortable, but Luke thanks Willow and sits down next to me like he’s been doing it half his life. Which. Okay, let’s say, like he never stopped doing it.
“How’s your day going?” he asks, resting his hand on the back of my chair. He looks down at his food as he speaks, so I know he’s doing it for the benefit of our audience and not because he really wants to know how I am. This realization stings, but I ignore it.
“Good. Yours?”
“Pretty good. We’re making volcanoes next week, so I’ve just been prepping for that. Been a while since I did a volcano project.”
I nod, like he’s telling me deeply interesting and romantic things, and I think I’m doing a great job until he leans in and says, “You know you have to pretend to like me, right?”
His hot breath against my ear makes it tickle, and a series of other impulses get sent elsewhere in my body.
“I am,” I say back.
“You’re not.” He tucks a strand of my hair back gently and continues eating.
Willow is telling Brett about the renovations her dad is having done on the courts at Tennis Win, and Luke stiffens beside me. Now, neither of us is acting like we like each other.
The only positive thing about sitting beside Luke all through lunch and enduring this awkwardness is that Eric doesn’t speak to me. In fact, he seems to have stood down completely, talking to the group at the other staff table like nothing happened yesterday. It’s so infuriating when I think about it. I’ve asked him to fuck off so many times, and he never listened, but as soon as Luke puts his stamp on me, as soon as it’s clear that we’re okay, Eric suddenly has nothing else to say. What a piece of crap.
“See—you staring at Eric for the whole hour won’t help our cause,” Luke whispers. Our cause? Is Luke’s whole prerogative in continuing the charade from yesterday to keep protecting me from Eric? Was the whole “keeping our story straight” excuse just bullshit? I thought I made it extremely clear that I didn’t need his help.
“I’m trying to think of where I’d hide the body,” I whisper back. Also, ew, on the thought that I’d be looking at Eric for any other reason.
