“I hear you,” Mom says, “but a job doesn’t always feel like falling in love, Zadie. It’s hard work. Your father loved to write but it was hard for him. Things you love can still be difficult.”
“I know,” I say.
A few minutes later, right before I leave her room, Mom says,“By the way, how did you know that it was Brian, at work, who I…?”
“Just a hunch,” I say.
She gives me a weird look.
The fact that some things in the coma world were real changes everything. I’m not crazy.
For the first time in days, there is a glimmer of hope.
Thirty-Two
Mom’s end-of-term party, and with it her retreat from public life and politics, is an all-star event. The previous mayor is there, members of the city council. So many of my classmates and teachers and friends, all tucked into city hall, which is decorated in balloons and streamers, like a child’s birthday party.
I’m wearing a navy-blue suit dress, fresh braids in my hair, Jason on my arm. I’m also wearing a brand-new red lip, closer to burgundy this time. Today’s open secret is that I am confident but still sad.
Mom manages to look a mixture of touched, surprised, and humbled by the lengths people have gone to to celebrate her. I don’t know how she does it.
“I shouldn’t be crying,” Amber tells me, where we are hidden beside one of the refreshment tables. I’ve caught her sobbing twice already today. “I’mthe one who broke up withhim, you know?”
“I get it, though. It still hurts,” I say, hugging her. “And Talon’s a nice guy.”
It’s hard to admit it, but he is.
“A really nice guy,” Mo says, “the kind of person you’dthinkyou’d want to end up with.” My head injury must have made me slow because I can’t figure out for the life of me how Mo’s words are supportive. She’s basically telling Amber she was stupid to let go of Talon.
Amber says nothing, just swipes under her eyes with a Kleenex.
“Do any of these foods have banana?” a girl’s voice says. I whirl around to find Joey Riddick, with Marcus arriving a little behind her.
“Hey,” he says.
My eyes immediately fix onto his quiet, easy smile, but I fight to bring my attention back to Joey. Behind me, my friends try to make themselves less conspicuous.
“Hey, Joey, are you allergic to bananas?” I ask.
Marcus’s sister is frowning at me. “How do you know my name?”
“I, um…we…”
“We’re friends,” Marcus says. “Zadie and I.”
I mouth a silent thank-you to him. He knows it’s probably something from the dreams. “Plus, um, you’re Jason’s cousin. I feel like we’re old friends.”
Joey doesn’t look totally convinced, but she turns her attention back to the food. “I’m deathly allergic to bananas. Just looking at one makes me feel itchy.”
My eyes widen.
“Please ignore the little kangaroo. Honesty is not her strong suit.”
Joey looks mortified. “Marcus! You’re not allowed to call me that.”
I hear her telling him off some more under her breath, but Marcus just grins.
“Hey, Joey,” I say. “Will you be in high school soon? You seem like an almost high schooler.”
