“They just used people,” I say, but Jason’s words about me using him don’t leave me either. I am guilty, in my own way, of the same thing.
Social media is ablaze with talk about the fight, especially the part where I ran Amber over with a truck. Or some other ridiculous rumor that is a clear escalation fromI poured orange juice on her.
“Why were you so against Talon?” I ask Mo. “He wasn’t even the problem.”
“He is a nice guy,” she says. “Honestly, I hated him at first, but then I realized she didn’t deserve him.”
Mo sits on my bed.
“Don’t ever lie to me again,” I say, but as I do, I realize that I’m a big freaking hypocrite. I’m still keeping so many secrets.
So I tell Mo. Every single one.
In the coma world, I had Marcus to confide in, to share the most important things with. In the real world, it’s Mo for me. And, hopefully, me for her.
Mo stays for a couple of hours, and we talk nonstop until she leaves.
I spend the hours after doing research on the best ways to spend a gap year. Traveling, volunteering, working, eating tours, band-chasing tours, bookstore-hopping, film festivals. I feel overwhelmed with the possibilities.
That night, when I sleep, I find myself in a world I recognize.
It’s Corner Books, except it’s brighter than the real store. Wallpapered with bluish flowers. As I’m looking through the shelves, the door opens and in walks Marcus Riddick. My heart trills at the sight of him.
Him, him, him.
“You’re here,” I say.
“You’rehere,” he says. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Really?” I say.
“You seem sad,” Marcus says, linking his fingers with mine.
My breath grows shallow at his touch.
I’m silent a moment and then I say, “You forgot me. In the real world, you’ve forgottenthis.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry, Zadie Cartwright. I don’t know what happened.”
I look down at the ground, then try to sound optimistic. “Well, at least we’ll always have this. I’ll always see you in my dreams.”
“And you in mine,” he says, but as I stand there, he starts to fade, getting more see-through. The walls of the bookstore begin to disappear.
I give a heavy sigh.
“I’ll see you soon,” he says, kissing me even as the world around us keeps melting away.
And then I’m waking up to the sound of someone’s voice coming from outside.
“Zadie!”
I panic at first, because I don’t know anyone who would stand under my window and yell for me. At least, I don’tthinkI do.
“Cartwright!” the voice shouts again. I think I hear a negligible attempt to whisper-yell, but it’s not very successful. Finally, I open my window, and Marcus is standing on the grass.
“Come down,” he says, and he’s speaking too loudly, too excitedly.
“Shhh!” I hurry out of my room then let him in. “Are youdrunk?”
