There is a magic to being unseen. To running to the water, scooping it up and letting it slip between my fingers. Allowing grains of sand to sift then burrow between my toes.
But the other magic—the magic of being alone together—is gone.
Marcus is gone.
I’m just alone.
Twenty-Eight
“Oh my God! She’s awake!” Amber exclaims as I open my eyes. She tackles me where I’m lying, where I’m blinking my eyes to adjust to the sunlight.
“It’s been so long,” Mo says, taking my hand. “We’ve missed you. Let me go grab your mom.”
I start to protest. I don’t want to see my mother. And I don’t want Mo to leave. If she does, I’m terrified she won’t ever come back.
Leave me alone, she said.
“Mo!” I call out, my voice sounding weak to my own ears.
“She’s coming back,” Amber assures me. “God, we missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Before I can respond, Mom bursts into the room and she’s crying again. Silent tears stream down her face.
“Oh, honey” is all she says. “You’re back.”
I don’t know what to say to her. Don’t know what people know or if the news has broken yet.
“How’s Jason?” I ask as she hugs me.
“Jason is fine. He’s on his way,” Mom says.
And right on time, Jason sprints into the room and to my side. “Babe. I’m so glad you’re okay,” he says, teary-eyed.
I blink at him, at my hand in his.Is he pretending?
How is he standing, walking, when he was taking his last breaths the last time I saw him?
“When…How long have you been awake?” I ask, not sure where to put my hand on his neck or head or hair. I pat him uncertainly.
Jason moves back to see my face. “You mean this morning? Well, we had practice, so maybe five o’clock?”
“You went to practice?” I’m incredulous. I sit up straighter to see his leg. The cast is entirely gone, and I didn’t notice a limp when he ran in.
“Of course,” he says. “I had to. Who would play my position? A sub?”
He chuckles at the absurdity.
I shake my head, frustrated at his inability to understand me. “No, I mean, when did you wake up? From the coma?”
Jason gives an uncomfortable laugh. Mo and Amber exchange glances, and Mom steps forward again. “Maybe you should just rest. Mona, can you grab Nurse Patrick?”
“Sure,” Mo says, hurrying out of the room.
“I am pretty tired,” I concede now. My head hurts and my body aches like it’s been through a battle.
I’m falling asleep when a chatty male nurse comes in. He tinkers with my IV line, checks my blood pressure, medications.
When I wake up next, it’s with the pressing urge to pee. I know from when I got my appendix out how to maneuver my IV stand, so I’m able to get out of bed and drag it with me. I’m halfway to the bathroom when my legs give way.
