Guilt flashed across Riftan’s features. He scrubbed at his face, then swore under his breath. “Do you think…that’s possible? I wanted you even when you were at your most frail.”
Maxi let out a sigh of relief. “Then…”
She placed her hand on his forearm. Riftan jerked away from her as though he had been branded with a burning iron. The pain in his eyes was palpable.
“But I don’t want to. Don’t you understand? It disgusts me that I was no better than a beast in a rut, even as you were lying there wounded!” He bent to rub his forehead on her hand and inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t want to make you suffer anymore. I want to protect you. At least once, I want to treat you the way you deserve.”
“B-But I’m not suffering.”
She lowered herself onto his lap, but he flinched and shook her off as he rose from the bed.
Maxi looked up at him with pleading eyes. “You have…never done a-anything to hurt me. I like…all that you do. I want to…touch you.”
She could see his throat bobbing as he desperately tried to swallow his thirst for her. Almost automatically, Riftan stretched his arms out but stopped himself from embracing her at the last second. His hands clenched into fists again. To Maxi’s surprise, there was fear on his face. This man, who had faced terrifying monsters without batting an eye, appeared to be afraid of a woman less than half his size.
His jaw strained as he clenched his teeth before he looked away. “No, I can’t. I can’t promise that I’ll be gentle. I would no doubt take you like a frenzied beast—”
Maxi began undoing his belt and slipping her hands inside his clothes. Riftan inhaled sharply, his arms held stiffly at his sides as he bunched his fists in an attempt to gather his self-control. After hesitating for a moment, Maxi pressed her lips against his slightly parted ones and tentatively pushed her tongue forward.
The tip of his tongue was sweet from the wine. When she gently licked his lips as if to savor the taste, Riftan responded hungrily. Twisting her hair in his fist, he entwined his tongue with hers. Maxi feverishly wound her arms around the sides of his sweaty neck. Tilting his head, Riftan pushed his tongue deeper and moved one hand to squeeze her breast through her bodice, the other hand still buried in her hair. Maxi felt her blood begin to simmer at all the sensations.
She let out a moan and mirrored his caresses, her hands running impatiently over his muscular body. Even in the dark, she could see Riftan’s face burning red. He practically tore off her bodice and sucked on the taut peak of her breast. Maxi shuddered and hugged his head to her chest, urging him. She could feel her insides melting like candle wax.
Her dress was bunched around her waist; Riftan grabbed it and pulled it down to her feet. He stroked her damp back with a callused hand and peppered sultry kisses across her pale abdomen. Before she knew it, she was lying on the bed, her whole body flushed pink. The swaying shadows cast by the lamplight swept over them.
Maxi yanked his tunic over his head, and he pulled her into his arms in a crushing embrace. Heat pooled in the pit of her stomach at the feeling of his arousal pressed between her legs. Riftan slowly rubbed himself against her whileraining kisses on her breasts and neck. The burning desire now had Maxi clawing at his shoulders.
Riftan jerked away as though abruptly coming to his senses.
Panting, Maxi looked up in bewilderment. His face was crumpled in frustration, and his body shook ever so slightly. Despite this, he summoned his self-control and roughly covered her naked body with the blanket. A stiff smile twisted his lips.
“We should…stop here for today,” he mumbled. “You’ve only just gotten better.”
Maxi watched in a stupor as Riftan sat up with his back to her and pulled on his trousers. Her initial embarrassment soon gave way to a simmering incredulity and anger. She was tired of him treating her like a debilitated patient.
She yanked his arm as he was trying to pick up the tunic he had thrown on the floor. She had intended to pull him back onto the bed, but their difference in weight made it impossible. Left with no other option, she boldly climbed onto his lap. Riftan sat frozen on the edge of the bed, his eyes wide and blank as she pressed her swollen lips to his.
He sucked in a quick breath. It was almost laughable how easily his self-control crumbled. A strange sense of triumph filled her as she gazed down at him.
“I-I am…not a child you need to protect,” she said firmly. “I am…your wife.”
For a moment, Riftan looked taken aback before his eyes slowly grew pained. Her delight quickly deflated when she saw the bleakness in them.
His chiseled features contorted. “And? What do you intend to do now?”
Maxi’s heart fluttered. “Wh-What else?”
She had naively hoped that he would take the lead from there. Riftan’s eyes roamed over her face, bare chest, and abdomen before he squeezed them shut. Creases lined his forehead as he strained to remain still.
Her confidence perked up at his reaction, and she placed her hand on his chest. His heart was beating so wildly that she was afraid it might burst.
“Y-You said i-it was…natural for married couples to do these things,” she murmured, kissing the tip of his chin and sliding her hand from his sharp collarbone to his abdomen.
A pained groan escaped his lips. “Just kill me.”
Her hand twitched at the genuine pain in his voice. Riftan pressed his fists into his eyes. Though he said he was holding back out of worry for her, it was possible that he simply did not wantto.
Maxi slowly pulled away. “If you…don’t like this…I’ll stop.”
