“I wasn’t enough to keep you occupied?” said Max.
“You totally were.” Willa turned to Sabine. “They were so good to me; you wouldn’t believe it. They took me here. They took me there. They wined me. They dined me. It’s been the most incredible summer. Maybe not, you know, France incredible—”
“Hey!”said Max.
“But Max incredible. Maxcredible. Maxnificent. Maxigal.”
“Oh stop,” said Max, beaming and motioning for more.
“You guys are making me sick,” said Sabine.
“You, too, could be this happy,” said Willa. “What about Bubble Tea Desmond?”
“Nah, don’t feel like dating at the moment,” she said, although she’d forgotten all about Desmond. Truth was, Aubin was still on her mind, but she wasn’t ready to say that out loud. “When do you go to Halifax?”
“Forty-seven hours, two minutes, and … three seconds,” said Willa.
“I’m going, too. Switching schools,” said Max, holding Willa’s hand.
“If you want to come, the three of us could rent a house together,” said Willa. “You wouldn’t even have to register at Dal, though I’m sure they’d trip over themselves to have you.”
“Yeah. You could take a year off,” said Max. “That what you’re planning?”
Sabine’s phone rang. It was her father. She excused herself and stepped onto the coach-house deck and picked up. “Hey.”
“Hey,” said Yves. “I’m in Toronto for your mum’s summit, and I wondered if you wanted to get something to eat. Maybe even tonight, if you’re free. We could talk.”
Sabine felt cautious. “What about?”
“I’d like to keep getting to know you. We can do that in Toronto while I’m here … and I asked permission from your mum, by the way. Or we can do that in Paris, too. I’d still love to get you your French passport. And there’s the residency at Château Beaupré. I bought that for you.”
“Thank you,” said Sabine, touched. “I’m busy tonight with friends. I do want to get my passport one day, but … it was hard when you didn’t show up at that office in Paris.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. I want—I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.”
“As for Château Beaupré,” said Sabine, metabolizing that apology, “I don’t think I’m ready to go. You should give the residency to Aubin. He could go for music.”
“True, but he’s not my child. If he wants to go, his family can send him. It was for you.”
She wasn’t sure what to say.
“I’m here all week,” he said, “so if you want to see each other, let me know. I love you.”
Technically, he was her father, but he hadn’t behaved like one until now. She’d waited her whole life to hear him say “I love you.” It hit her that she’d worked to be the best student and kid to impress everyone, but especially her father. She’d thought that if she were perfect, he’d come back, be proud of her, and love her. But every time she got her perfect marks, and he didn’t show up, she felt she still wasn’t good enough, and if she just tried a little harder, he’d notice and come back, and they would be a family again. It was unfair to her mum, who’d always been there, and who’d always been proud of her no matter what. Sabine hadn’t done it on purpose. Now that she saw it, plainly, her anxiety melted away. Being the perfect child hadn’t made her father show up all these years or at the passport office in Paris. That was his problem, not hers.
It did feel as if he loved her, to the extent that he was able. Now she could give him a chance because she wanted to, notbecause she needed to. She could do what madeherhappy. It might take practice. Like driving the manual car with Aubin.
“I’m taking a year off, I think,” she said. “Maybe to travel. I could visit you in Paris.”
“I would really like that.”
Her mind flashed to the I Love You wall in Montmartre and the image of the woman with the thought bubble:“aimer, c’est du désordre … alors aimons!”To love is messy, so let’s love.
Nothing with her father would be easy. Nothing about life, come to think of it, was easy. But she was going to go out there and see how she made out.
On the spur of the moment, she sent Aubin a WhatsApp.
“I’m thinking of travelling for a year. Maybe start in France, maybe get a youth mobility visa somewhere and work for a bit to raise money to travel some more … Want to come?”
