A message sent to Imani’s soul over and over again through the night. Unrelenting waves of care for her girl. And her mom.
The next morning when Linda woke up, she found Imani had retreated to one side of the bed, which struck her as weird. She preferred to cuddle nonstop.
Maybe she’s tired, Linda thought.Let me give her extra time to rest.She brushed her teeth and handled her business in the bathroom. By the time she’d showered and come out, Imani was still sleeping.
Maybe she’s not feeling well?
“Hey, rise and shine, kiddo, you’re gonna be late for work.”
Linda leaned down and nudged Imani’s shoulder. As she drew closer, she gasped.
Imani’s eyes were wide open. Saliva fell from the side of her mouth.
“No!” Linda screamed. She gently lifted Imani up by her back to make sure she was breathing.
Linda called 911 immediately and summoned an ambulance, which took Imani to Montefiore, the closest hospital. There doctors declared she’d entered some sort of catatonic state for no reason they could discern.
Imani’s parents absorbed the news with stone-like disbelief, trying to understand how their completely healthy daughter had succumbed to something so random. All the while, Papi just sat in the corner of the visitation room and stared at an utterly stunned Linda, as if he knew the truth. As if his mind held a message that she could read if she chose todelve into his thoughts, which she never did, because she was too frightened of what she would discover.
You did this.
My child, the evil bruja.
Her father, arresting officer, judge, jury, and executioner. Who knew no one would believe that Linda was to blame for Imani’s condition due to hidden mystical powers. Their terrible secret.
Imani would never recover, would never wake up. In the ensuing months, Linda became so racked with guilt that for weeks she could barely eat or sleep, at one point close to death’s door herself until Estelle practically barged her way into the apartment and nursed her back to health. Would things have been different if she’d accepted the older woman’s offers to train, to better understand her power? Had she been careless with her empathy because of her grief? Had her gift been too much for her girl’s mind and soul?
I’ve destroyed her…
She soon pledged never to use her empathy again and joined the police academy, where she graduated with honors and then worked as a beat cop, all in a vain, misguided attempt to stanch the venom that oozed from Papi. To earn back his approval, though she wasn’t sure she’d ever had it in the first place.
She remembered…
… the first time she’d put aside enough money to procure Imani a bed at the New Rochelle facility when her parents’ health insurance coverage ran out after their daughter had grown too old.
She remembered…
… the first time she visited Imani and spoke at her bedside, something she couldn’t bear to do for the first two years of her coma.
She remembered…
… weeping at her girl’s bedside for the umpteenth time before Imani woke up, stroked Linda’s head, and told her to stop crying.
Which had actually never happened.
Linda stumbled back, shocked to see her girlfriend sitting up with a stoic demeanor. Imani’s hospital bed was in Linda’s town house, in her shadowy living room full of candlelight. The adult version of Elegua with his red knit hat and cat eyes loomed above them in his familiar portrait. Linda swore he was looking directly at her.
“You can’t keep on torturing yourself like this,” Imani said. “I’ve already forgiven you for what happened. It was an accident. You need to forgive yourself, move on.”
I can’t.Linda said nothing, just leaned forward and kissed Imani. Her lips felt exquisite, parched as they were. She wanted to drink her all up.
Imani didn’t kiss Linda back, didn’t envelop her girlfriend in an embrace. Instead, she slowly pushed her away.
“I can’t wake up,” she said. “My time is done. I think you’ve known that for a while… butyouhave to wake up, Linda. There’s something out there that you have to confront, that you’ve made it your mission to handle. Because you’re a badass bitch who no one can touch. You need to remember that, and you need to wake up.”
Linda shook her head. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
“Imani…”
