After a moment, he softened, eyes holding a gentleness reserved only for sorrow.
“We’re not,” he said. “Elara, I… Gaetan.”
“Gaetan?” She straightened, a spark of hope returning. “You found him? Where was he? Is he here? Did you get him?”
“No.”
“Well, we can work on that. Right? We can prove he had nothing to do with the rebellion. If anyone can find the right information, it’s you.”
Because Nik had tracked down Gaetan in the first place, had discovered her secret long before she even thought to tell him. Everything would be okay.
She laughed. “He’s going to be so pissed they burned down half a Restes block for him.”
“Elara.”
“Did you appeal to Lafontaine? Faucher?”
“Elara.”
She hated the kindness, thepity, in his voice. She hated the way he looked at her like she was a rabid animal even more. His palms were up, half in surrender and half in an attempt to cage her.
“Where is he, Nik?” she asked evenly.
His mouth bobbed as it had in those earliest days in the carriage, when he sorted through lies to determine which half-truths would assuage her.
“He’s dead.”
Two words.
Spoken as if they wouldn’t shatter her heart.
The kitchen swayed. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true.”
“You’re lying.” She pulled back. “Why are you lying?”
“I’m not.”
“Did Lafontaine put you up to this? The Counseil?”
“No!” He shuffled his curls with a frustrated snarl. “I swear, I never wanted this to happen. I tried to save him.”
“You watched?” she hissed.
He grimaced. Out of pain? Guilt? Or was it another trick to get her to play nicely?
“I found an operating room in Lafontaine’s office that only he can access. I tried to break the glass, but it was magied.”
“Or did Lafontaine tell you to watch?” Her heart hammered against her ribs. “And you obeyed because that’s all you do?”
Weeks of being manipulated. Weeks of lies. Weeks of Nik scraping to do whatever it took to make his precious Souverain happy.
“You’re just like everyone else in this wretched place! He’s your Souverain. You became a Patron to help him, you selected a pitiful girl to manipulate for him. Everything you’ve ever done is for him! Why should I believe you’d put anyone else first?”
“Because of you!” He spun on her, halting her every thought. “That night after the first competition, all I could think about was you. How brightly you burned for everything and everyone but me, and I… I wanted to feel that heat.”
The words were beautiful, but how could she trust them? “People are dying. We have to fix this.”
