“Are you afraid of me?” asked Death incarnate.
“Yes,” I answered honestly.
“Yet you do not appear to be repulsed by me.”
“I feel more wonder than fear to be sitting alongside you,” I told him. “Is that unusual as well?”
“Most souls find my nature to be rather…abrasive. It is only fitting that their instinct is to flee.”
“I have no wish to flee,” I whispered, shocking myself with the truth of it.
I peered up at him meekly through my lashes. Thanatos nodded, then gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before dropping his hand back into his lap. “Truly, I do not understand your ability,” he said. “But there are many things which I do not understand. I suppose I can tolerate this one, so long as it is only you. Not many are so willing to speak with me.”
“I have no answers, myself,” I said, masking my relief. “I think I at least understand what you meant about my walkingin your realm—but as for why, I have no idea. I mean, Iaman oracle, but…I guess I’m also just lucky.”
“Lucky,” he repeated. He raised an eyebrow. “You are very strange. Do you know that?”
“That’s not such a bad thing,” I countered with a shrug. I studied his expression. He seemed to have warmed to me some, but how far could I push my luck tonight? “I…can I ask you something, Thanatos?”
He chuckled sharply. “You may certainlyask.”
I straightened up. Of all the questions that burned in my breast, which might be best received? Best to start with the discrepancy that had been troubling me increasingly the longer he stayed at my side. “Isn’t there someone dying right now?” I asked, scrunching up my face. “I mean, there has to be, and you aren’t there to…collect them.”
“Hmm.” He studied my eyes intently. “It does not work that way,” he finally answered.
“How does it work, then?” I failed to keep my excitement from bubbling up in my voice.
“Hmm,” he hummed again. “Perhaps I will tell you tomorrow, if you wish.”
I nodded eagerly. “Yes, of course.”
“And perhaps it is best that you continue to lie to your friends. Besides being amusing for me to observe—” I scowled; he smirked— “it will keep you safe. I do not wish for this temple to discover what you are…or whatIam.”
“Okay,” I breathed. “Our secret.”
Thanatos flickered to his feet. “Then come here tomorrow, when the sun has set. For now, I have an audience with Hades.” He regarded me with subtle amusement in his eyes, and then disappeared.
I sat, unmoving, and stared at the place where he’d vanished. I reached out and laid my hand on the empty butstill warm spot on the bench beside me. I walked the plane of Death? And I’d spoken with him twice? Maybe my sight wasn’t so ineffective after all. How this could be helpful to Halieis, I had no idea; but in truth, I wasn’t overly interested in that. I wanted to see him again, to converse with Death. And I wanted him to myself. Luckily, I had promised him as much, giving me cause to remain silent.
But what to say to my sisters? If anyone could see through my lies, it would be them. I thought it over as I rose and walked slowly back toward our tower. By the time I reached our chamber door, I’d worked out at least something with which to pacify them.
The lantern was out when I entered, leaving only the flame of a small candle to illuminate our room. I was not so lucky as to find the girls asleep, however. Alex rolled over in bed when she heard the heavy door open and close. She looked up at me expectantly as I plopped into my bed with a sigh. I knew the others were listening, too.
“I’m sorry,” I started softly. “I know I must have seemed insane today, but I think I feel much better now. When I ran out, I went to the garden, and sat out on one of the benches. And this sort of peace came over me. Like…encouragement. Like patience. I think maybe the answers will come, in time. I think I’m supposed to wait and be steady, for this is just the beginning.” I swallowed. It was the best I could do.
“It’s okay,” said Alex, though concern was still plain in her voice. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’m sure it will be alright, and you will be given more understanding. Maybe you’ll even be excited to come to it.”
Sophie grunted in agreement from my right. “Extra worrying won’t help, Cyrie. If the gods mean for you to act, then surely you will know it when the time is right. For now,just relax, and empty your mind to make space for them. Be the conduit. The oracle.”
I nodded. “I’m going to relax. I’m going to try to sleep. I love you all.” I slipped under the covers and pulled them up to my chin. Zoe got up to blow out the candle, then returned to her bed. Silence fell over us as I closed my eyes. Exhausted, I was out before I could turn back to obsessive contemplation.
When morning came, I was the first to wake. The fluttering in my stomach returned in force, and now that I was rested, I found myself overflowing with nervous energy. I stayed in bed, tapping my fingers repeatedly, until dim light reached the sky outside and I decided it was late enough to get away with waking my sisters.
I pounced on Zoe first. “Zoes, get up! I want to have a glamor day!”
This type of occasion had originated as a game of fanciful dressing that the four of us once shared with our childhood caretaker. Now that we were grown, alone, and without choice in our attire, it had morphed into a more subtle form of united self-expression: we would spend the mornings before noteworthy days carefully painting each other’s faces and arranging elaborate hairstyles, holding our beauty as a shield before us.
Today, though, I had a different motive in mind. I wasn’t going to show up in the garden tonight looking like the absolute wreck I’d felt like yesterday. I was going to meet agod. I needed to look perfect.
