“It got quiet after lunch, but I stuck around for a while, and I chatted with some of the folks that decided to hang out for at least part of the afternoon. There were some kids playing games at one of the tables in the corner.”
“I think it’s seeing the kids there that bothers me the most,” Ash admitted. “I wish I could do more to help.”
“I know what you mean. But we do what we can and hope for the best,” Ker said.
There was a bit of a lull in the conversation, and Ash got the feeling Ker wanted to say something, so he held his tongue and waited.
“So there’s something I wanted to tell you,” Ker started.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Last Sunday I went out to buy some groceries, and I ran into the guy I almost bought pills from a year ago. He was just leaning against the building as I was coming out of the store.”
“Really. What happened?”
“He tried to sell me some oxy. I said no and left, but it really shook me up. I was a mess when I got home. I mean, I was really tempted but knew I shouldn’t do it. My brain just fucks with me sometimes. After screaming into a pillow in frustration, I finally called my NA sponsor and talked to him for a while. And I went to a meeting that night. It helped.”
“I’m really glad you had someone to talk to,” Ash said sincerely. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“I just hate feeling so weak and out of control.”
“I don’t think you’re weak at all. You were so strong to tell that guy no and then call your sponsor. That tooksomuch strength. I’m really proud of you.” Ash was close to tears, thinking about the demons that haunted Ker. “And I want you to know that you can always call me. I mean, I know that your sponsor is probably better able to talk to you in a situation like that, but if you ever can’t get in touch with them, please call me. I’ll always be here for you.”What is it about this guy that makes me feel this way?
“Thanks, Ash. I really appreciate that,” Ker said quietly. “And once again, sorry to be such a downer, especially after the day you had yesterday, but I wanted to tell you about what happened, and we really didn’t have a chance to talk this week.”
“Don’t ever apologize for being honest with me.” Ash kept his tone gentle. He didn’t want Ker to think he was reprimanding him. “We’ve only known each other for a short time, but I want to know you better. And as I told you the other night at dinner,that means the good and the bad. Speaking of dinner, when can we get together again?”
CHAPTER
SIX
Ker
Ker wasn’t actually upset that they’d not been able to see each other or even talk during the week, but he really wanted to see Ash sooner rather than later. “I’m not sure. Are you gonna have another crazy week?” Ker tried to keep his tone light.
“Well, I hope this coming week isn’t too crazy. Unfortunately, I never really know, but I have an idea. Let’s keep this week kind of flexible since work has been rather crazy lately. That doesn’t mean we won’t get together, but I just can’t plan anything definite right now.”
“That’s fair,” Ker agreed.
“But I do want to plan something for Friday night, in two weeks if that’s okay. The coffee shop in town is having an open mic night, and there’s usually some great talent there. There’s a woman who lives down on the cape that I’ve heard before. Her name’s Kim Moberg. She’s very good.”
“At Cuppa Joe’s?” Ker asked, referring to the coffee shop in Hawthorne Bluff. “That sounds like fun. I’d love to go with you,” he enthused. “We can talk closer in, but should we just plan on meeting there?”
“Yeah, that’s probably best. It starts at seven, and I should have time to go home and change before meeting you, but just in case I’m running late, you can grab a table for us, okay?”
“That works. I’ll try to get there no later than six thirty,” Ker said, sipping at his coffee.
“Cool. So what else has been going on?”
They chatted for a while, each sharing more details about their week. At some point during the conversation, Ker realized that he liked having a friend—yes, it was clear he could call Ash a friend—like this. He hadn’t really had someone like Ash in his life for quite a while, but it felt good to just be able to chat about stuff in general with someone who got him.
As their conversation lagged, Ash said, “As much as I hate to end this, I really need to jump in the shower. It’s Sunday, and that means dinner with my family at Mom’s house. I won’t put you on the spot now, but at some point, I’m gonna invite you to join me some Sunday, okay?”
“I’d like that,” Ker said quietly. “Have a good time with your family. I’ll talk to you soon.”
After Ker got off the phone with Ash, he puttered around the house a bit, not entirely sure what to do. After straightening up the living room and cleaning the bathroom, the restless feeling still lingered, so he put on his jacket and went for a walk. Perhaps the fresh air would help clear his head.
At the end of his street, he took a right, heading toward the water. When he had moved to Plymouth almost ten years before, he had soon realized how much he loved being near the ocean. Okay, technically it was Plymouth Harbor and the Gulf of Maine, but itwaspart of the North Atlantic, so it was still the ocean.So different from where he grew up. Sure, there had been an occasional pond or lake nearby, but the ocean was different. He loved listening to the waves roll in, especially in areas where the surf battered craggy rocks as the sea met the land. He could listen to that all day. It soothed something deep inside him. Of course, here in the harbor the waters were calmer, allowing boats to dock safely, but it was still relaxing for Ker to hear the water lapping against the rocks at the water’s edge.
