“No, it’s an apartment downtown. That big green glass building a few blocks from the lab, actually.”
Anvi gave a little squeak that I attributed to her excitement at this fresh gossip.
“You promise me you’ll find a new lab, right?” I asked.
Anvi sighed and her voice turned dour. “I’ll try. Hey Bridget, I just wanna say I really liked working with you. You were a really good teacher.”
I blinked in surprise. “Thanks, Anvi. I really liked working with you, too.”
“And I’m sorry,” she blurted, then took another breath. “You know. For messing up sometimes.”
“It’s okay, nobody’s perfect. You’re a great scientist,” I said.
For some reason that made Anvi burst into tears, which set me off because my hormones were raging, and that’s how Nathan found me: bawling into the couch pillow.
This was all a great distraction from the real problem at hand: my heat. I was terrified of course. I was still technically a virgin if you ascribed to the western paradigm of penetrative sex being the deciding factor. I wished I didn’t, but it was the only paradigm I’d ever known.
There was also the prospect of knotting. I knew the biological facts, of course, but there was quite a difference between the concept of something and the reality of it. If I hadn’t been so crampy, I would have suggested a trial run.
Instead I snuggled deeper into Nathan’s chest and reminded myself of that feeling I’d had waking up between my Alphas.They’re what you need, that little voice inside me said. I would have to trust that voice knew what it was talking about.
There was one person I still needed to talk to, though. I cornered him that evening while Nathan and Andrew made dinner.
“Hi,” I said, tapping lightly against the doorframe of the bedroom. “Do you have a second?”
Gabriel’s hair was damp from the shower. He smiled the smile that melted my insides like butter. “For you carissima, always.”
I took a step into the room and gripped my hands in front of me. Then I inhaled like I was about to dive underwater.
“I’m sorry for taking over your space,” I said, gesturing to the mattresses on the floor. I’d tried to apologize to Andrew earlier, too, but he’d just kissed me until I forgot what I was saying.
Gabriel shook his head. “Please do not think that way. It is our space, tesoro.”
I met his eyes, trying to telepathically communicate what I was really trying to say. “But I’ve only been here for like a second. I mean—” I broke off and tried again. “This isyourhome, not mine. You were here first.”
Judging by his small smile, he understood. “Ah. This again. Vieni qui, carissima.”
Gabriel led me over to the nest, and pulled me down to lay next to him. As always, my stupid heart picked up at his closeness. There was nothing inherently sexual about the way our bodies touched — his leg against mine, his hand on the curve of my waist — but I was aware of each point of contact as if there were an electric current passing between us.
“Are you feeling well?” he asked, brushing my hair from my forehead. “You are not in pain?”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. I took some ibuprofen.” I didn’t tell him it barely took the edge off.
“Mia bugiardella,” he murmured with another small smile. “You must stop worrying, tesoro mio. You know how I feel about you.”
But Ididn’t, not really. And that was the problem. “I know you care about me.”
“Sí. Very much.” He brushed my cheekbone.
I was going to have to be brave and just say it. “I know. And I know my perfume affects you inthatway, and it’s bound to be really strong during my heat, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I care about you, too. Very, very much.”
I loved him, actually, but I snapped my mouth shut before that escaped.
Gabriel’s thumb brushed my cheekbone again, then swept down the curve of my jaw to rest on my chin. He studied me, his eyes gleaming, and then he slowly brushed across my lower lip. My heart contracted painfully. How could I ever get used to wanting him this badly?
“Your scent does affect me. It makes me ache for you,” he murmured, brushing my lip again. He used the tip of his thumb to pull it down until my mouth opened slightly. “But I am beginning to think it is not just your scent. It isyou, mia cara.”
I didn’t move or breathe. My head was going light.
