I considered that while Gabriel muttered in Italian, and I fought the panic that threatened to engulf me again. When this came out, because it definitely would, my career would be ruined before it even started. Which Ph.D. program would accept me? I’d be toxic — an Omegaandan unethical hack. What the hell was Lisbeththinkinggetting involved with someone so willing to compromise scientific integrity?
I also needed to consider Nathan and Anvi. I would have bet my life that neither of them knew about this. Nathan was an overbearing ass, but he wasn’t a hypocrite.
If we wanted to come out of this without looking complicit, we would have to be the ones to blow the whistle. And I needed to talk to them first before we went any further.
“No, please don’t say anything yet. I need to talk to my colleagues first.” My voice was surprisingly steady in the face of impending doom. “And, professionally speaking, I wouldn’t continue treatments.”
“Alright,” Andrew said after a moment. “I feel like I just ruined your night.”
I laughed. There was a hysterical edge to it. “Likewise. But it’s not like I wasn’t already a ball of anxiety.”
“We are here for you, carrissima. Please be careful. I do not like all this secrecy,” Gabriel said.
I promised I would. There was a beat of silence, when I was hoping and dreading in equal measure that Andrew wouldsay something flirtatious, or even ask me out again. But then my shame asserted itself.
“Okay, um, goodnight,” I said.
“Goodnight,” Andrew rumbled, and I hung up before I begged him to say it a few more times, just for the pleasure of hearing his voice.
Sleep would be impossible.
Chapter 14 - Nathan
“Thank god you’re here,” Bridget said as I entered the lab the morning after our latest spat. She motioned me to follow her into the far corner of the room. For a moment, I let my imagination run wild. She was going to confess her feelings for me; we’d quit the study and move somewhere on the west coast, far from all the bullshit of Fairview academia. But no. Her face was grave.
She sank onto a stool, her back to the wall, one of her legs tucked into her chest, like she was trying to make herself smaller. It hurt, after seeing how fiercely she stood up for herself at the gala, to see her so meek.
“What happened?”
“He’s paying the participants,” Bridget said without preamble.
It felt like I missed a step walking down a staircase. “Davis? There’s no way.”
Bridget wrapped her arms around her knee, her eyes wide. “Andrew told me last night.”
“Andrew?” I asked before I could stop myself. Jealousy, hot and irrational, boiled up to replace the dread.
Her eyes hardened and she raised her chin slightly. “Yes. I called them last night to warn them about the inconsistent results.”
Why did she even have his phone number? Like picking at a scab, I wanted to follow that thread and see just how close they’d become, but that wasn’t as important as figuring out what to do about this situation. Not to mention, it would make me seem pathetic.
“You’re absolutely certain? That’s a significant accusation to make.”
“I believe Andrew and Gabriel. Why would they lie?”
It was a good question. And while I wished I had proof that they were somehow manipulating her, I didn’t. “Tell me what they said.”
Bridget relayed their conversation. “I know you didn’t know about this. And I can’t imagine Anvi knowing anything, either. But Lisbeth? Is there a chance she’s in on it?”
I’d never seen her do anything unethical in previous studies and I told Bridget as much. “She seems more intense now, though.”
Bridget looked over my shoulder towards the door. “I was trying to convince myself she would never be involved in a pay-to-play study. But I can’t. Not when she’s being so erratic. And it would explain why she’s adamant we don’t say anything about the results.”
I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms. There was only one solution. Bridget, Anvi and I needed to report Dr. Davis to the IRB if we wanted to have continuing careers. And while I also had my doubts about Lisbeth’s behavior, there was still a kernel of loyalty.
“Anvi should be here soon. You need to tell her what’s happening. I will talk to Lisbeth.” Bridget opened her mouth, no doubt to protest, but I kept going. “I won’t say anythingconcrete. But I’ll tell her there have been anonymous reports of unethical behavior by Dr. Davis and see how she responds.”
“And what good will that do?” Bridget asked.
