We sat in silence for a few moments.
“So what will you do instead?” Nathan asked.
“Apparently I’m going to host a podcast,” I said. “Don’t fuckinglaugh.”
Nathan turned his guffaw into a cough. I think he surprised himself, too. “Sorry. That was rude. But a podcast? You?”
“Why not?” I demanded.
Nathan considered that for a second. “Fair enough. But it doesn’t seem like you to give up.”
“It’s notgiving up. It’s being an adult and finally accepting what I should have years ago. Plus, not having to train will give me more time for Gabriel and for…” I trailed off.
“For Bridget,” Nathan finished.
“Yes, if she wants me as her Alpha.”
“And what does that entail exactly? Being her Alpha?” Nathan tried to make the question seem like a throwaway, but his tone was a little too casual.
A dozen petty responses sprang to mind. I mean, he had just laughed at my new career choice. But I chose to be the bigger man.
“Pretty much what it means for any partner. Supporting her, caring for her. But with the added responsibility of keeping her safe because, as you’ve seen, Omegas tend to attract unwanted attention. And her heats, of course.”
Nathan flopped onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. It was the most vulnerable I’d seen him. “Unfortunately, my experience of healthy relationships is nonexistent.”
“It’s not that hard, man. What is your gut telling you to do?”
“My gut?” His tone was that of a scathing academic.
I nudged his shoulder with my foot until he dropped his hands to look at me. “Yes, your gut. Your instincts. Your inner Alpha. Your… heart or whatever. What is it telling you about Bridget?”
He squinted at me and sighed. “That she needs me. That I need her.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem?”
“Everything!” He sat up. “She is a human being, not some fulfillment of myneeds! All of this pheromonal bullshit is so archaic. I shouldn't even be thinking of her like this.”
“Yeah, some Alphas take that shit too far. But if you don’t, being an Alpha can also be great. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself for what comes naturally to us. You’re not some creep. Bridget cares about you, and I think you know that. You’re just scared.”
“Yes. I am scared. I amterrifiedof hurting her. And what does it matter? She has you and Gabriel, she does not actually need me.”
“Listen, you need to figure your shit out quickly. Whatever’s going on with her scent, her heat spikes… she’s going to go into heat soon. We may be scent-compatible, and she may be starting to trust me, but she knows you much better. That will be important for her first time.” I was very proud of myself for being so magnanimous.
“This can hardly be her first heat,” Nathan said dismissively. “She’s twenty-five.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. A small, unworthy part of me thrilled at having information he didn’t. “Oh. You don’t know.”
“What don’t I know?” he snapped.
“Bridget has never gone through a heatwith someone else,” I said carefully, trying to communicate the implications of this without being too explicit. I’d let him draw his own conclusions.
Nathan’s furrowed brow turned into a look of shock so complete I almost laughed. “Are you joking?”
“Nope. So, like I said, figure your shit out—”
I broke off and doubled over, grunting as I pressed my hands to my heart. Panic raced through my chest along with a burning pain. Was I having a fucking heart attack?
“Andrew, are you alright?” Nathan asked.
