“That’s my brand, then? Invisibility?”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready for the question.”
“That’s alright. You may be more accurate than you know. I’m really good at being other people’s voices. But I have to work on my own.”
“I like your voice.”
“I know you do.”
But it’s not enough. She doesn’t say it, but J hears it in her voice.
The rest of the conversation is strained. She asks him about his days, but it doesn’t feel like she’s a part of them. He asks her what’s going on at work and he doesn’t really understand what she’s talking about. Thor’s growing relationship with Meta is the only thing he can really wrap his head around, because when something really big is happening, wouldn’t you want someone to share the excitement with?
He does not ask V this question.
Two days before Celestia’s wedding, at 6 p.m. New York time and 11 p.m. Gothenburg time, J gets a text from V:WE HAVE A DEAL!
He calls her immediately and is pleasantly surprised when she picks up on the second ring.
“Congratulations!” he cheers.
“Thank you. We’re all celebrating here.” He can hear Motown blasting in the background, and giddy laughter.
“It’s a good deal?”
“It’s agreatdeal. Not just because it’s a lot of money, but because these investors really believe in what we’re doing and, frankly, have more expertise than any of us do in terms of how to get it done.”
“That’s amazing,” J says. “And it means you can come home now?”
There is a pause, and at first J doesn’t understand why. He’s asked a fairly straightforward question.
“Really?” V says. “You’re bringing that upnow?”
J is still lost. “I just assumed that since the deal is done, I’d get you back.”
“I am telling you we’ve pulled off this incredible feat, and all you care about is when you’ll ‘get me back.’ You you you youyou. Do you ask me how we pulled off this deal? Do you even ask me who the deal is with? Do you ask me what the next steps are or what my role is going to be? No no no. You you you.”
J knows he’s taken a misstep, but V’s thrown up a wall before he can step back to where he was. So he digs in. “It’s selfishness to want you back here?” he asks. “The last time I checked, it wasn’t only my ego that was missing you. My heart was in there, too.”
“What you don’t seem to understand is that I miss home as well. More than I thought I would. That’s one of the reasons we stay in the office so much, because when we’re here together, we can pretend we’re still back home, with each other. This wasn’t my plan at all. But you know what? I know it isn’t that much of an achievement, it isn’t that special, to be one of four or five people involved at the ground level of a start-up company. Those come and go. But itisan achievement, and it’s a big fucking opportunity, to be one of four or five people involved at the ground level of a start-up company that strangers are willing to invest tens of millions, potentially hundreds of millions, to support. This is the wild ride, and I’m on it. So, no, I’m not coming home. I’m staying where I have to be. And when everything settles down, I will figure out where I want to be.”
J can’t believe that after pining for so long to have her talk to him, this is what he’s hearing. “I don’t factor into this decision at all?” he asks, his voice taking on a plaintive tone that he rarely uses with V, or anyone else.
This time there isn’t any hesitation before the response. “Of course you’re a factor. But you can’t be the decisive factor. Even though I’m sensing you want to be.”
Now it sounds like the people behind her are laughing at him, celebrating her liberation.
“So we’re through?” J asks. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“That was never my intention,” she says, her anger subsiding into something that sounds more like sadness. “It still isn’t my intention. But if we’re going to stay together, you’re the one who’s going to have to adapt for once. And right now, I’m not sure you’re capable of that.”
“Thanks for that vote of confidence.”
“Look, I’m going to go. You’re ruining what was, up until this point, one of the best days of my life.”
“Well,” J can’t help saying, “that was never my intention.”
“I’m going.”
