J walks back with Thor to where Meta and Judge Pao are waiting.
“Congratulations,” he says to Meta. He is not going to attempt a hug, or even a handshake.
“Really. You can’t tell anyone,” she says.
“I promise.”
“Okay,” she says. “Good.”
“I like your dress,” J offers.
“It was my grandmother’s,” Meta replies. J can’t tell whether she’s serious.
“Time for a wedding!” Judge Pao proclaims.
The ceremony only takes four minutes—Judge Pao’s script, the laminated vows. J spends these four minutes not trying to come up with a verse for their song, but instead trying to figure out if Thor and Meta are truly in love, if they really should be taking this step. It’s clear that they believe they’re in love; even though they haven’t known each other long, they’ve forged a visible togetherness. But is it a durable one? Is there any actual way to know? Even from the inside, it’s hard. But from the outside? If someone saw J and V a few months ago, would they have thought they were in love? Forget the private moments. Were there ever public moments where they emanated togetherness, where they would have seemed to the casual observer to be each other’s metronome? Or not even the casual observers. What about friends? What did their friends see? Two people in love, or two people trying to be in love, or two people not trying to be in love, or maybe just one person trying to be in love, and the other uncertain of how to deal with that? Thor loves Meta. There’s no doubt of that. Well, unless he’s just infatuated with her. He’s so young—is there a way of discerning a difference? Maybe it’s wrong to blame it on youth. What if, all this time, all he really felt was infatuation toward V? What if he was not only infatuated with her, but with their life together? And she must have been too...but what if it was something less thaninfatuation? Something closer to benign enjoyment? Perpetual amusement? Why is Meta so much harder to read than Thor? Is it because she feels less, or just that he shows his feelings more? V never said she was coming to New York to get away from J. She never told him she didn’t want him to follow. If she wanted him to let go, why didn’t she just tell—
A hand on his shoulder. Nick’s. He blinks back to the room that he’s in. Sees Thor, Meta, and the judge all watching. Waiting.
J wills on his stage smile, the one that is waiting like a spare tire whenever he doesn’t feel like going on. He congratulates the couple. He makes a show of getting his guitar. He quickly thinks of something to sing, then sings it.
The prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until the age of twenty-five
But you can drink at twenty-one, marry at eighteen, and at sixteen you can drive
Well, what has the prefrontal cortex ever done but overanalyze?
When the heart knows what it wants it’s always right.
“That was so great!” Thor calls out when J is done, running over for another big hug. Then he pulls J onto the platform so J and Nick can be their witnesses. As he signs, J knows two things: That he will, indeed, keep this a secret from V, and that she will inevitably find out anyway. This signature will be one of many clues.
Judge Pao keeps things moving as always, and Nick tells J the next couple asked for the singer not to be present.
“Come walk with us for a second,” Meta says, her voice making it clear it’s not a request so much as a requirement.
Thor holds Meta’s hand as they move into the hallway, her dress even more discordant now than it was in the chapel. She leads them to an empty corner, makes sure that it will remain empty for the near future, then laser-locks her eyes on J’s and says, “I want to emphasize, this needs to stay a secret.”
“We’re planning a real wedding,” Thor adds, trying to be as laid-back as Meta is severe. “That’s going to be the big deal. You’ll be invited, of course. And hopefully will play for us again! Only we’ll be the only ones knowing it’s the second time!”
“There are serious business implications,” Meta continues. “Things are very close to a resolution with the next stages of Secret Project, and we don’t want the fact that we’re married to be a distraction from that. At all.”
“Of course,” J says.
“You can’t tell V,” Thor says.
“Especially V,” Meta adds.
“You’re in luck,” J replies. “I’m not sure V will ever speak to me again!”
Thor laughs at this. Meta can tell he’s serious.
Then Thor, seeing that Meta is not laughing, assures J, “Believe me, V loves you. We all know V loves you. So even if you’re not speaking now, you will be. You just can’t tell her about today.”
Meta provides a more measured, “It’s true—I doubt you’re over yet.”
They seem so sure that J and V will talk again that J savors a small bit of hope. What have they seen in J and V together?
“Plus—those songs!” Thor enthuses. “Are you really writing a new song for every wedded couple?”
