Haru presses a button, turning it on. I don’t realize it’s connected to my phone until music starts to play.What was the last song I was listening to?Before I can grab my phone, Brandy’s wistful voice fills the room, singing:
Have you ever loved somebody so much,
it makes you cry
I take the speaker from Haru and shut it off immediately. The room goes silent again. “Sorry. I don’t want to wake my parents up.” “Have You Ever” is the best unrequited love song there is, and no one can convince me otherwise. But it’s meant for late nights when you’re alone, looking to feel something.
I put the speaker away and check the time. It’s almost midnight. Haru still hasn’t changed out of his clothes. His damp shirt clings to his skin, showing the lines of his chest. “Do you want a different shirt or something?”
“It’s actually warm in here.” Haru pulls his shirt over his head. Then he looks at me again. “I hope it’s okay that I sleep like this.”
I take him in for a second. His skin glistens from being in the rain. Then I pull my eyes away. “Uh, sure,” I stutter.
We dry ourselves off and climb into bed. Haru takes theright side again. Even though I’m feeling tired, I don’t want to fall asleep yet. I lie on my side, keeping a close watch on him.
Haru looks at me. “What is it?”
“I’m just surprised you’re still here.”
“What do you mean? We came back together.”
“No, I mean, I thought you would have disappeared by now.”
Haru moves the hair out of my face and says, “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“What if I fall asleep? Will you be there when I wake up?”
“I’m not sure.”
“How come?”
Haru thinks about this. “I don’t really control when I go. But I wish I could.”
I press my lips together. “Then I won’t. I’ll just stay up all night.”
Haru kisses my hand. “I’ll stay up with you then.”
I lean in closer to him. Rain lightly patters against the window as we lie awake together. Neither of us says much. We just stare at each other, making sure the other doesn’t fall asleep. But it gets harder and harder to keep my eyes open. The second I start to drift off, I squeeze Haru’s hand, making sure he’s there.
“I’m here,” he whispers.
“Just making sure.”
“You seem very tired.”
“Not at all. Just resting my eyes.”
“Whatever you say.”
“In case I fall asleep, though. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“If you disappear again, how will I find you?”
Haru kisses my forehead and says, “Don’t worry about that. Just know that I’ll find you. I promise.”
I hope he keeps this promise. Because I would spend the rest of my life looking for him. I don’t say anything after this. I’m too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. It’s not until some light creeps through the blinds that I realize the sun is rising. I squeeze Haru’s hand one last time before I allow myself to drift off. The last thing I remember is feeling his fingers slipping through mine before everything goes black.
