Whispered, “Remember what we said.”
I barely bit back a sob. “Timeless,” I breathed.
March nodded. “Timeless.”
Whichever way the clock turned, we were timeless, he and I.
Then we saw red.
I knew it was over. I knew this was the end. I knew that nothing was going to remain inside me by the time the Red Queen was done, and I wished with all my heart that I could have given March one of my own memories, too. Of the way he made me feel when he held my hand. When he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that truly mattered.
It hurt so much I couldn’t breathe.
Then again, that didn’t matter, either.
Soon, I and all my memories, all my love and all my pain would be no more.
41
The deep red color of the magic was beautiful. It was the last thing I really saw before my eyes closed on instinct, and it reminded me of March. It reminded me of roses and hearts and blood and love.
And it was worse because when the magic wrapped itself around me, it didn’tfeellike an attack.
I was sure that was on purpose, but it felt like a door opening or a lock turning or a window that had been shut for ages finally giving way.
Gasps and screams and deep breaths all around me.
March’s hand was no longer in mine. My body let go and I fell involuntarily, forward, straight onto the ground.
My cheek hit the dirt and the world exploded—not outward but inward. Into me.Throughme.
Something-something-something’s wrong…
Every locked door in my mind blew open at once.
It was terrifying, and it caught me by surprise, and I didn’t know up from down anymore, myself from someone different. Someone new and old at the same time. All thosedoors opening, so fast, so fully—and behind them was everything.
Something-something-something’s…right.
Images poured inside me, one after the other, except these weren’t being presented to me in a gallery, and I wasn’t falling. No—I was grounded, body pressed against the soil, and these images, these feelings, these sounds were all coming from inside me, setting themselves free.
The carriage. The arena. The dormitory. Mimi’s face when she first saidhi!Cook’s steady hands while we danced together. Seth’s grin and Russ’s laugh. Levana’s sharp tongue, and Anika’s worry, and Erith’s kindness.
Helen’s bright eyes and beautiful face and electric smile.
Reggie’s roaring laughter.
More and more doors opened as I gasped for air, as I saw,understoodall that I was seeing and what they meant:eating hall-junkyard-mechanical heart-dancing-masks-timesand-tea party-wrinkles-clockbeasts?—
Memories.
They were allmymemories, and they were free.
I was crying, shaking now against the ground, thinking about the forty-eight freckles on my face and the feel of March’s lips against mine. And Silas, and Calren, and Elida, and the queens…
It was all there. All of it. Every second of every day I’d spent in this place, both forward and backward in time, every trial, every game, every moment of terror and joy and love and loss—flooding back into me like water into a vessel that had been empty for so long it had forgotten what full felt like.
I’dforgotten what it was like to be whole.
